Male/Female humor.

[Meulen]

:laughing :laughing :laughing

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
> Female......Any part under a car's hood.
> Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
>
> 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
> Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
> Male........Playing football without a cup.
>
> 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
> Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
> Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
>
> 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
> Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
> Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
> girlfriend.
>
> 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
> Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
> Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.
>
> 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
> Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
> Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement male bonding.
>
> 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
> Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
> Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
>
> 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-mohtkon-trohl) n.
> Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
> Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
:laughing :laughing

[Rachael927]

:rolleyes and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded :laughing :laughing

[Meulen]

Originally posted by Rachael927
:rolleyes and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded :laughing :laughing


:mad It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.:D

[Y2KR1]

funny..:laughing

[Rachael927]

Originally posted by Crazy

:mad It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.:D

Sorry i'm just a natural male basher :laughing :laughing

[Meulen]

Originally posted by Rachael927


Sorry i'm just a natural male basher :laughing :laughing

:laughing :laughing OK all forgiven.:D :laughing

pssst: most of us deserve to be bashed.

:mad did I say that outloud....me and my big mouth:D :laughing

[BABETTE]

Originally posted by Crazy
> 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

I guess I'm a like a guy then, I don't want that first horrible thing mentioned :laughing

Originally posted by Crazy
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-mohtkon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.

I love channel flipping and watching 3 or 4 shows at a time. :p There's always something better on. :p

[Grover]

Originally posted by Rachael927
:rolleyes and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded :laughing :laughing

We aren't retarted..we are just VERY simple minded. :D

Chris

[MoTo178]

Originally posted by Crazy


pssst: most of us deserve to be bashed.


GASP!! You traitor!!! :twofinger

[BABETTE]

Originally posted by GroverSV650S
We aren't retarted..we are just VERY simple minded. :D

Chris

oh I'm quoting on that for proof to every male I encounter. One of their own has said it :rofl :rofl :evil

[Jim]

SCIENCE FICTION GEEK PICKUP LINES
- "Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning.'"

- "I can't help it -- my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!!"

- "Nice Asimov."

- "Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody."

- "Earth woman, prepare to be probed!"

- "I'm the droid you're looking for."

- "Is that a spare Vulcan ear in your pocket or... well, I'm just asking because some jerk in the parking lot pulled off one of my Vulcan ears."

- "Hey, baby. I own Microsoft."

- "Your mouth says, 'Shields up!', but your eyes say, 'A hull breach is imminent.'"

- "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you watch me masturbate while I download pictures of Jeri Ryan?"

[Jim]

TOP 15 EUPHEMISMS FOR IMPOTENCE
15. 180 degrees shy of heaven

14. Performing with Flacido Domingo

13. A few parts shy of an erector set

12. Sch-wing and a miss

11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense

10. The Null Monte

9. Disappointing Miss Daisy

8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics

7. Ascension Deficit Disorder

6. Bouncing the Check of Love

5. Less-than-Magic Johnson

4. All Doled up with nowhere to go

3. Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You

2. Serving boneless pork

1. Unleavened Man-Bread

[Rachael927]

Originally posted by Crazy

pssst: most of us deserve to be bashed.
:mad did I say that outloud....me and my big mouth:D :laughing

:laughing yes i have to agree that MOST deserve to be bashed :laughing

We aren't retarted..we are just VERY simple minded. :D

Hey i didn't say there was anything wrong w/ being simple minded :D

[VIVID1]

Originally posted by Rachael927
:rolleyes and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded :laughing :laughing :laughing ditto

[Meulen]

Originally posted by VIVID1
:laughing ditto

Sigh.......

once again:
It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.

[BABETTE]

Originally posted by Crazy
Sigh.......

once again:
It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.

I wasn't, Grover was I was just quoting him. Men are funny creatures. :p



Psssst....I know not all men are bad....just the ones I happen are find are :rofl

[TerminatorR1]

Yes we are funny creatures. Not as complex as women tho.:D

[BABETTE]

Originally posted by TerminatorR1
Yes we are funny creatures. Not as complex as women tho.:D

we're not complex....we just think alot! :jester :bs

[Grover]

Got this from a friend of mine out west. She thought it was funny. Fits the theme of this thread.


The following ad in the Atlanta journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Scottish Terrier> > MEN ARE SO EASY!

[BABETTE]

Originally posted by GroverSV650S
Got this from a friend of mine out west. She thought it was funny. Fits the theme of this thread.


The following ad in the Atlanta journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Scottish Terrier> > MEN ARE SO EASY!

I read about that a while ago and thought that was hilarious. :laughing

Good one! :p

[jibaro69]

Originally posted by BABETTE


we're not complex....we just think alot! :jester :bs


Now that IS funny:rofl

[Labdog]

Originally posted by Grover
Got this from a friend of mine out west. She thought it was funny. Fits the theme of this thread.


The following ad in the Atlanta journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Scottish Terrier> > MEN ARE SO EASY!

Too Funny!!:rofl

[Meulen]

Originally posted by Labdog
Too Funny!!:rofl


HOLY thread resurection batman!!!:laughing :laughing

[Ocean]

:p :rofl :p :rofl

[Labdog]

Can you tell i was bored at work today?

I needed a good laugh!:thumbsup

[LadyDemona]

:rofl