Grover
01-17-2003, 01:20 PM
NEW WORDS FOR 2003 Essential additions for the workplace
vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why
a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only
to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going
on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to
stay
home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime
example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap
out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed
to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. (From the World Wide Web error
message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.)
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no
matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that
you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing wind while walking thru a
cube farm,
then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE
DOGGING.
vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why
a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only
to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going
on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to
stay
home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime
example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap
out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed
to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. (From the World Wide Web error
message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.)
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no
matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that
you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing wind while walking thru a
cube farm,
then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE
DOGGING.