A dogs letter to God - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 01:58 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Meulen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Romeoville
Posts: 19,186
Location: Romeoville
Sportbike: looking to get dirty!
Years Riding: long time
How you found us: SBN
           
Talking A dogs letter to God

A Dog's Letter to God
> >
> >
> >Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
> >one
> >another?
> >
> >Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
> >going to
> >be the same old story?
> >
> >Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
> >mustang,
> >the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?
> >How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice
> ride!
> >Would
> >it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
> >
> >Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
> >him,
> >is he still a bad dog?
> >
> >Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
> >signals,
> >whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
> >fields,
> >and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
> >
> >Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
> >
> >Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands
> to
> >get
> >in?
> >
> >Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
> >apologize?
> >
> >Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
> >remember
> > to be a good dog:
> >
> >1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they
> throw
> >it
> >up.
> >
> >2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because
> I
> >like
> >the way they smell.
> >
> >3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
> > they are tasty, they are not food.
> >
> >4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
> >
> >5. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
> >
> >6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
> >
> >7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
> >
> >8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
> > driver's license and registration.
> >
> >9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on
> the
> >toilet.
> >
> >10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
> >saying
> >'hello.'
> >
> >11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under
> >the
> >coffee table.
> >
> >12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
> >house...
> >
> >13. I will not throw up in the car.
> >
> >14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
> across
> >the
> >carpet.
> >
> >15. I will! not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
> crotch
> >when
> >company is over.
> >
> >16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes
> >that
> >noise, it's usually not a good thing.
> >
> >And, finally my last question;
> >
> >Dear God, when I get to Heaven May I have my testicles back?
>

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

-Herbert Hoover
Meulen is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 01:59 PM
Super Moderator

 
Vcook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Winfield
Posts: 43,230
Location: Winfield
Sportbike: bikeless
Years Riding: 10
How you found us: Shit, you know I'm a clsb OG!
           
Send a message via AIM to Vcook
this is what their real letters say:

roof roof roof. bark bark, bow wow, yap yap yap. growl.
growly growl growl, yip yip yap.

lassie.

Chris
Vcook is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 02:09 PM
Registered User
 
Labdog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Roselle, IL
Posts: 9,589
Location: Roselle, IL
Sportbike: 2000 Hayabusa Blue & Silver! Mods-> Oh yeah!
Years Riding: Oh just a couple or so....
How you found us: Old SBN days.......
           
Re: A dogs letter to God

Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
A Dog's Letter to God

11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

Dear God, when I get to Heaven May I have my testicles back?
11. That just made me laugh cuz mine has'nt figured that out yet!

Testicles? Yeah right i can barely get mine back for Wednesdays from her!

<--Kelly

.

2000 Hayabusa
2006 Honda CRF50
Labdog is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 02:20 PM
Head Stepper
 
Pirate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Warrenville
Posts: 4,244
Location: Warrenville
Sportbike: TREKK
Years Riding: 9
How you found us: member referal
           
Send a message via AIM to Pirate Send a message via Yahoo to Pirate
Nice Kelly!!

<-------- Jeff


Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??


Property of Evil Monkey Racing
Pirate is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 02:55 PM
CLSB SuperHero
 
TerminatorR1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Crest Hill...didnt think you've heard of it
Posts: 1,808
Location: Crest Hill...didnt think you've heard of it
Sportbike: None right now
Years Riding: since '95
How you found us: friend
  
Re: Re: A dogs letter to God

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Labdog
[B]11. That just made me laugh cuz mine has'nt figured that out yet!


Must be a Lab thing. You hear that awful thud of his head hitting the coffee table.

Life is too short to ride anything but an R1

In memory of FastBlueR1...RIP

TerminatorR1 is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 02:57 PM
Grasshopper
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
WOOF

WOOF WOOF
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Meulen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Romeoville
Posts: 19,186
Location: Romeoville
Sportbike: looking to get dirty!
Years Riding: long time
How you found us: SBN
           
Re: Re: Re: A dogs letter to God

[QUOTE]Originally posted by TerminatorR1
[B]
Quote:
Originally posted by Labdog
11. That just made me laugh cuz mine has'nt figured that out yet!


Must be a Lab thing. You hear that awful thud of his head hitting the coffee table.

I have a glass dining table. Mine has tried to grab food in route to my mouth through the table "Thud....."

What's funny is just about all of these are my dogs to a tee .

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

-Herbert Hoover
Meulen is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 03:16 PM
Registered User
 
BABETTE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Franklin Park, IL
Posts: 1,094
Location: Franklin Park, IL
Sportbike: 98' CBR600F3
Years Riding: 10 yrs
How you found us: back in the old days of SBN
           
Re: A dogs letter to God

Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
A Dog's Letter to God

Dear God:16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
BABETTE is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-18-2003, 03:58 PM
CLSB SuperHero
 
TerminatorR1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Crest Hill...didnt think you've heard of it
Posts: 1,808
Location: Crest Hill...didnt think you've heard of it
Sportbike: None right now
Years Riding: since '95
How you found us: friend
  
Re: Re: Re: Re: A dogs letter to God

Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
I have a glass dining table. Mine has tried to grab food in route to my mouth through the table "Thud....."

What's funny is just about all of these are my dogs to a tee .
Now that would be funny.

Life is too short to ride anything but an R1

In memory of FastBlueR1...RIP

TerminatorR1 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome