stollen from here
#1 CASEY STONER
This morning we got up real early to drive up to the Top End. Adriana asked us to make some coffee. It was unreal because we got a really good setup on the bean grinder almost straight away but then... I dunno... maybe the temperature changed or something because all of a sudden we didn't get the sort of bean grinding performance we needed. So Adriana made tea.
We spoke to Mr. Suppo on the phone and it went real good. We told him we are feeling much better and will be back racing at Estoril. Unless we don't feel good and then we won't. Mr. Suppo was happy with us but Jorge must have parked his scooter in one of our spots because all Mr. Suppo could talk about was "F***ing Lorenzo. The f***ing c**t. F***ing us around like that." We need to be careful where we park our scooters.
Here we are in the Top End! It's real good. The Maloo ran real good on the way up. We don't know why other people can't drive their utes at 240km/h everywhere. Maybe the media should ask them.
We went fishing for barramundi today. At first it was real good as we got a real good setup on the fishing rod. But then our wrist started to hurt and we couldn't run the level of tension we needed on the reel. This was disappointing because we thought were in with a chance of catching a fish today and it's frustrating that our wrist didn't let that happen. But we'll try to stay positive and move on to the next river bend.
The team must be real excited to have us back as it looks like everyone is working on our bikes. We had a real good text from Nicky and he said "that dumb sunovabitch Kallio has screwed ur motorz dewd". It's great that even another rider is pitching in to help our mechanics prep our bike.
#2 VALENTINO ROSSI
In the beginning, this morning I get up early and I do a big shit. I say to Uccio to take her and make gold plate on her and take her to hospital of sick children so all can enjoy her.
Today I am very, how you say, tired. I sleep in the bushes outside the villa of Signore Stefano Domenicali so we can make the Formula 1 talks this morning. Maybe he not see me because he drive very fast past me. I chase him on scooter but he have Ferrari 599 and I have Yamaha T-Max so is not so easy to make the catch.
Today I tell Uccio to put on clothes of cleaning lady and go in other side of garage. He check everything and other side has toilet paper the same like my side! I tell Signore Jarvis maybe he thinks this is right but I think this is not right and other side should use my toilet paper after I use. Signore Jarvis say, "For f**k's sake." then I say Ducati have nice toilet paper and Honda are making the ultrasonic arse cleaning machine so maybe he think about that.
Today Mr. Burgess make a very good idea on the M1 bike. When you take 2nd gear, if your name start with 'J' then the bike, she explode. I tell this idea to Mr. Furasawa but he say nothing. This how Japanese peoples say yes I think.
Uccio, he tell me, that there is newspaper in west part of China that has no picture of me today. We both cry for the sadness of this. I try to make a help for this peoples. I paint my balls yellow and Uccio take picture and send to Chinese peoples. Now they can be happy and see my yellow balls when they eat cat for breakfast tomorrow.
#4 JORGE LORENZO - translated from the Spanish by Matt Roberts
What is a man? What can a man be? As I looked in the mirror for 8 hours today I resolved this question. The sight of my long limbs and clear, intelligent eyes showed me exactly the essence of man. Then I tripped and fell through the mirror.
Today I went with PalaWeb to Starbucks. Glittering tears filled my eyes as I successfully ordered a tall skinny latte in a vente cup. Is it too much to imagine that the constellations aligned themselves precisely to allow this shining triumph of the human spirit to occur? Perhaps only the most mean minded cynics would deny such a thing. As I planted a celebratory flag in the counter top the barista was so happy, so absolutely consumed by the most feverish species of joy possible for a human being, that she couldn't even smile.
I carry a grave and heavy burden today. An enormous black boulder of fear and anxiety. It is my concern that the iPhone of His Majesty King Juan Carlos I is not working as it should. I sent him a message on Facebook suggesting that Spain be officially renamed to the more simple and appropriate La Tierra de Lorenzo but he has not replied. I have similar concerns about the battery in the Palm Pre belonging to UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon.
There appears to be some florid and ostentatious band of Italian petty criminals and gypsies lurking in the other side of my garage. I shall have them removed instantly. In fact, using just the power of my mind I shall imagine that they doesn't exist and hence they won't.
As I rode my M1 today it seemed that it trailed a beautiful corona of silver, glittering stars in space. Those who would seek to deny these things would, of course, say that I imagined it. Did I? Did I really? Or perhaps they imagined that I imagined it don't you think? I noticed that the team has taken my spare bike and are fitting a gun rack and cow horns on it
. This must be a special tribute to me.