Stuff White People Like: World Cup - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
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Stuff White People Like: World Cup



Every four years the planet comes together to celebrate the World Cup and since white people make up a portion the world, they are not immune to the excitement.

However, before you start planning out long watching sessions with white people you should be aware of exactly why white people get so excited about the World Cup. Though you may be waiting on baited breath for your favorite sport on a global scale, white people like the World Cup because it allows them to pretend they are European for a few weeks, and more importantly, it allows them to get drunk at odd hours.

Virtually every white person you speak to about the World Cup is incapable of remembering any actual event that took place during a game but can, with near total recall, remember how they got very drunk on Sangria during a Spain-Paraguay match at five in the morning.

From reading the above paragraph, the sharper ones among you have likely noticed that clever white people also adore the World Cup because it allows them to pair countries with their respective alcoholic drink.

“England is playing Argentina? Dude we gotta get some Newcastle then like, I don’t know, like some wine I guess?”

This plan will be consummated with a high five, a trip to Trader Joes, and the purchase of a soccer jersey that will be worn, on average, twice a decade.

It’s also worth noting the amazing interest shown by white women in the World Cup. While they generally find most professional sporting events to be boring, the atmosphere at a World Cup match is much more amenable. Mostly because they don’t have to drink light beer and there is a good chance that they might meet a European man, or, at least someone who might be planning a trip there. This is far superior to a hockey game where, at best, they might meet a Canadian. It goes without saying that for white women, the World Cup can’t come soon enough.

Of course, hosting a themed party around one of the games is a sure fire way to increase your popularity with white people, but at the end of the day it does not increase your bottom line. No, during the World Cup, the most profit to be made will come from betting on the games with white people. Not only will they have plenty of disposable income, they will follow the following betting patterns:

* England is good
* Brazil is good
* Italy is good
* Teams from Africa are cute underdogs and thus always worth a bet.

When it comes to talking about the event, it goes without saying that you should probably avoid trying to talk to white people about any of the actual players in the World Cup aside from the biggest stars. Most white people cobble their soccer knowledge together from UK celebrity gossip and a few games of FIFA on the Wii.

But if you do find yourself talking to a white person who actually knows a lot about soccer you are probably talking to a European, or worse, a white guy who tries too hard.

The latter is especially dangerous, as they have likely been waiting for years to meet someone to converse with about “football” and with soccer’s year round schedule, they will never leave you alone.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2010...the-world-cup/

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post #2 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:41 AM
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Lets get this clear, America still doesn't care about soccer and never will.

<-Insert Racist Comment About Being Able to Afford Equipment for Real Sports ->
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post #3 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:50 AM
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post #4 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:50 AM
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I thought brown people only liked cricket?
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post #5 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:54 AM Thread Starter
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I thought brown people only liked cricket?
We are into whatever sports our colonial overlords used to play.

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post #6 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:57 AM
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Lets get this clear, America still doesn't care about soccer and never will.

<-Insert Racist Comment About Being Able to Afford Equipment for Real Sports ->

You might want to think again.
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post #7 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:58 AM
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we have a bunch of illegals here and america will be spanish speaking in 50 years. thats the only way america will care about soccer.

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post #8 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G View Post
You might want to think again.
I did, America still doesn't like soccer, it also doesn't like la crosse and some other cool sports.
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post #9 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki047 View Post
I did, America still doesn't like soccer, it also doesn't like la crosse and some other cool sports.
Might be stretch, but I don't think so...that is why there is so many fat people living among us. Soccer and la crosse, actually require one to be active for a long time. Some of the most in shape individuals play those sports.

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post #10 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:04 AM
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Might be stretch, but I don't think so...that is why there is so many fat people living among us. Soccer and la crosse, actually require one to be active for a long time. Some of the most in shape individuals play those sports.

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post #11 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
Cannot see the video (blocked at work), but I am sure it is fantastic.

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post #12 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:15 AM
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post #13 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Might be stretch, but I don't think so...that is why there is so many fat people living among us. Soccer and la crosse, actually require one to be active for a long time. Some of the most in shape individuals play those sports.
You don't have to be fit to be a fan of a sport. Your logic doesnt makes sense. Also nearly all of the major sports in this country require a good amount of physical fitness.

Football has not caught up in the US because of geological reasons and also because we don't need more competition for the existing sports in terms of the well established advertising schedule for all the seasons.

It is growing as the population becomes more international.

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post #14 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
You don't have to be fit to be a fan of a sport. Your logic doesnt makes sense. Also nearly all of the major sports in this country require a good amount of physical fitness. .
I was referring to actually playing the sport, yes i do not believe any sport requires fans to be in shape. And, yes, all sports require a degree of fitness, but i feel that soccer requires more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
Football has not caught up in the US because of geological reasons and also because we don't need more competition for the existing sports in terms of the well established advertising schedule for all the seasons.

It is growing as the population becomes more international.
I think you mean geographic, if not please clarify.

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post #15 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:41 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gsd656 View Post
I was referring to actually playing the sport, yes i do not believe any sport requires fans to be in shape. And, yes, all sports require a degree of fitness, but i feel that soccer requires more.



I think you mean geographic, if not please clarify.
Yeah, geographic is what I meant. Typing this from my department meeting, not paying a lot of attention to either.

Are you saying soccer requires more fitness than basketball hockey or football? Perhaps Steve could shed some light on this.

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post #16 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:42 AM
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Buahaha... that John Cleese clip is awesome. Why is American Football called Football??

I play on several rec. league teams, there's always a ton of people playing, at all levels. The fields and indoor complexes are full year-round. People love to play it, but pro teams don't get a lot of support. (I actually don't really watch it or follow much.) I think there's a pretty good base of soccer fans here, and has been gaining ground for the past 20 years, still, I don't ever see it being as big as the NFL. Americans have short attention spans, like being spoon-fed, and like crashes/people beating each other up too much ala NASCAR vs. F1.


Edit: Also, as for the fitness thing... I'm not what you would consider "fit" - you don't have to be for beer league soccer, but I would hazard to guess that pro players are some of the fittest of any pro level stick/ball sports. It's a big field, and there's not a lot of stopping or resting. You do have to be fit/skilled for any sport, but they all require something somewhat different.

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post #17 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
Are you saying soccer requires more fitness than basketball hockey or football? Perhaps Steve could shed some light on this.
Never played hockey so cannot comment. Played football and basketball, and yes I do feel soccer requires more fitness. And let me qualify fitness as endurance or stamina. I am not trying to belittle the fitness required to play other sports or the physical strength or skill required, just the way games are played, imo one has to be in great shape to last a full 90 minutes.

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post #18 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
Yeah, geographic is what I meant.
How is the US geography have a larger impact in soccer then any other sport?

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post #19 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:51 AM
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I am not much into team sports in general but I must say that I had a good time at the local Irish pub watching the US vs. England. Good beer, good people and the game was fun to watch. The fans seem more civilized compared to the typical US football fans who can be brash.

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post #20 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Never played hockey so cannot comment. Played football and basketball, and yes I do feel soccer requires more fitness. And let me qualify fitness as endurance or stamina. I am not trying to belittle the fitness required to play other sports or the physical strength or skill required, just the way games are played, imo one has to be in great shape to last a full 90 minutes.
But what's the correlation between the avg American's weight and the interest of soccer in this country? According to that logic we should have the least medals in the Olympics while its the opposite.

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post #21 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:53 AM
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All I care is that Germany wins....






... and I can drink beer after every goal..

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post #22 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:53 AM Thread Starter
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I am not much into team sports in general but I must say that I had a good time at the local Irish pub watching the US vs. England. Good beer, good people and the game was fun to watch. The fans seem more civilized compared to the typical US football fans who can be brash.
Lol that's the first time I heard of civilized British soccer fans.

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post #23 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
But what's the correlation between the avg American's weight and the interest of soccer in this country? According to that logic we should have the least medals in the Olympics while its the opposite.
see post #14

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post #24 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 11:54 AM
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post #25 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 12:00 PM
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i am 100% for renaming football to handegg

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post #26 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gsd656 View Post
see post #14
You're talking about actually playing the sport. Loki, G2G and I are referring to the overall interest of the game.

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post #27 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
You're talking about actually playing the sport. Loki, G2G and I are referring to the overall interest of the game.
If you watch a good game, there is a lot of activity and a lot of movement in it.

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post #28 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 12:15 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Germany View Post
If you watch a good game, there is a lot of activity and a lot of movement in it.
Like the slaughter of Australia?
(I'm into futball btw)

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post #29 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 12:19 PM
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How do they determine those groups, I don't know much about alot of the teams, but it seems like Germany lucked out.

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post #30 of 40 (permalink) Old 06-14-2010, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
Like the slaughter of Australia?
(I'm into futball btw)
You know everyone is so surprised about the result, If they would have done anything less than that they would have been embarrassed, and should go home...

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