International Dating Guide - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 02:02 PM Thread Starter
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International Dating Guide

AMERICAN WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her, and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever
Going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana Strip.

ARAB WOMEN
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab Community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 02:04 PM
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That's racist!!!


(but funny)

Attorney-at-Law: Doing my part to contribute to the downfall of western society.
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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 02:39 PM
black magic
 
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i don't get the irish one

i want to drink, but only to kill a certain few brain cells and i don't care how many i have to take out to get to them.
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 02:57 PM
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Vietnamese Women
First Date: You punch her in the fucking mouth for being annoying

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chunk View Post
Vietnamese Women
First Date: You punch her in the fucking mouth for being annoying
South Korean Women?
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:08 PM
he who is absent foreskin
 
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appearantly no one dates catholics.
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki047 View Post
appearantly no one dates catholics.
heck no those chicks are crazy.

<----married a catholic filipino
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumbl1 View Post
South Korean Women?
South Korean Women
First Date: They ask you to buy them a Prada purse and you punch them in the fucking nose for being materialistic.

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:12 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki047 View Post
appearantly no one dates catholics.
they're easy, so I'm sure there's sex involved.
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:18 PM
Bug
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Who has time to "date" anymore...?

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:22 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bug View Post
Who has time to "date" anymore...?
Not everyone pays for it.
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:24 PM
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You're always paying for it, whether you realize it or not.

Attorney-at-Law: Doing my part to contribute to the downfall of western society.
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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:25 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob, Esq. View Post
You're always paying for it, whether you realize it or not.
yup. They're much cheaper w/o contracts though.

can i rent your wife for an hour?
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:26 PM Thread Starter
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Not if she's vietnamese. ^^^
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSpud View Post
yup. They're much cheaper w/o contracts though.

can i rent your wife for an hour?
I only accept payment of internal organs.

Attorney-at-Law: Doing my part to contribute to the downfall of western society.
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:31 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob, Esq. View Post
I only accept payment of internal organs.
sure! hey if we time it right and you get lucky maybe we can grow you a whole kid too.
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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 04:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSpud View Post
sure! hey if we time it right and you get lucky maybe we can grow you a whole kid too.
Doubtful. Pedo cheeseheads aren't her type, ya dirty old man.

Go hire an 18 year old.

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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 05:47 AM
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Showed the wife the Mexican one and I went OH SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!

Jon
MSF Instructor


<---- Useless

Always Stand For What You Believe In... Even If Means You Stand Alone...
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 08:48 AM
I Shot You
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRSMAIL View Post
Showed the wife the Mexican one and I went OH SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!


hahahahahahahaha
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 08:55 AM
Bug
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
Not everyone pays for it.
They all do in one fashion or another - Wake up Son........

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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post #21 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 09:56 AM

 
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^^+100

nothing could be more true

Nick Amelio
Northern Division Director and Gunshow provider
SPORTBIKETRACKTIME.COM

[email protected]
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post #22 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 10:04 AM Thread Starter
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I guess there's no such thing as free lunch errr sex.
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post #23 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 10:06 AM
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
I guess there's no such thing as free lunch errr sex.

And just like that im hungry.



or is it horny...?


Iunno. ill just pulla kastanza and hit two birds with one stone.

www.firespeedtactical.com
Trial By Fire.
Like our page!
http://www.facebook.com/firespeedtactical

Quote:
"I'm spooning a barrett 50 cal. I could kill a building."
-Archer
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post #24 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 10:17 AM
Bug
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FiReBReTHa View Post
Iunno. ill just pulla kastanza and hit two birds with one stone.


Fucking AWESOME Episode - Rep!!!!

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"

Last edited by Bug; 07-01-2010 at 10:25 AM.
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post #25 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 10:19 AM
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I find pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted and cured meats.

Chris
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post #26 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 12:59 PM
You got the talkin' done
 
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I only looked at this thread to see what vcook would have to say.

If you ain't with us, then it's just bad news.
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post #27 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrock View Post
I only looked at this thread to see what vcook would have to say.
Yeah riiiiight!
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post #28 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 02:18 PM
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Polish Women
First Date: Buy here good dinner and shots of vodka
Second Date: She will give you $$$ and a marriage proposition in exchange for a green card.

" Never drive faster, than your guardian angel can fly."

My Garage

PSN: chamala2000

Peter
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post #29 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 02:19 PM
Failed rehab
 
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I <3 Polish chicks.

Attorney-at-Law: Doing my part to contribute to the downfall of western society.
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post #30 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRSMAIL View Post
Showed the wife the Mexican one and I went OH SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!
Came home tonight and wife said family's moving in.. I was like WTF, the beaner played me good on that one.

Jon
MSF Instructor


<---- Useless

Always Stand For What You Believe In... Even If Means You Stand Alone...
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