Math problems for ENutz - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 01:56 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Gone In 3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas/Chicago
Posts: 5,771
Location: Texas/Chicago
Sportbike: CBR1000RR
Years Riding: Been around the block with training wheels
How you found us: Folks
           
Math problems for ENutz

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. The re be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

Gone In 3 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:01 PM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
scout67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 40mi West of the City
Posts: 4,538
Location: 40mi West of the City
Sportbike: '01 ZX-6R, '88 Katana 600
Years Riding: 20+yrs.
How you found us: Written on a YWB's ass. Next to "EMR was here"
           

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
scout67 is offline  
post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:07 PM
Greg
 
gsd656's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Morton Grove, Illinois
Posts: 3,677
Location: Morton Grove, Illinois
Sportbike: 2008 HD VRSCAW, 1985 Honda XR350R (Sold), 2001 SV650s (Sold), 2002 Sea-Doo GTX Di
Years Riding: I thought I was getting the hang of it...back to the basics.
How you found us: mentioned on svrider.com
           
Send a message via Yahoo to gsd656
Lmao

Greg

gsd656 is offline  
post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:13 PM
Fat guy on a sport bike
 
Pocket Rockets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Naperville
Posts: 3,444
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: Schwinn
Years Riding: 7 minutes and 52 seconds
How you found us: ask.com
           
Oh snap! I think ENutz iz gun hafta shank a muhfugga! I think the inner city kids might score a lot better on the math skills tests if they were able to have real life situations like these - street math.
Pocket Rockets is offline  
post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:25 PM
Paul - Semi Old and Slow
 
pjrocco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 733
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: 2009 Honda CBR600RR
Years Riding: Since 2000
How you found us: google
           
Nice!
pjrocco is offline  
post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:29 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: GL, WI
Posts: 5,356
Location: GL, WI
Sportbike: R6, SV1000s, rm250
Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
How you found us: team chicago
           
#1 is wrong already, AK47's take magazines
Superspud needs his med's is offline  
post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:33 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Gone In 3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas/Chicago
Posts: 5,771
Location: Texas/Chicago
Sportbike: CBR1000RR
Years Riding: Been around the block with training wheels
How you found us: Folks
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSpud View Post
#1 is wrong already, AK47's take magazines
a Clip is a slang for Mag on da streetz.
Gone In 3 is offline  
post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:34 PM
Registered User
 
Pilotx1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Elk Grove IL
Posts: 15,833
Location: Elk Grove IL
Sportbike: '03 Gsxr 1000, '04 Zuma,07 GSXR 600 trackbike
Years Riding: june 2007, since new,july '10
How you found us: friend
           
Send a message via AIM to Pilotx1 Send a message via Yahoo to Pilotx1
1)60
2)about 5k
3)2 must turn 3 the third must turn a 4th
4)20
5)7 with change left over
6)2800
7)about 18
8)20%
9)28 weeks
10)440

hahhahahhaaha

-Jason
CCS AM #31
Pilotx1 is offline  
post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Gone In 3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas/Chicago
Posts: 5,771
Location: Texas/Chicago
Sportbike: CBR1000RR
Years Riding: Been around the block with training wheels
How you found us: Folks
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilotx1 View Post
1)60
2)about 5k
3)2 must turn 3 the third must turn a 4th
4)20
5)7 with change left over
6)2800
7)about 18
8)20%
9)28 weeks
10)440

hahhahahhaaha
Gone In 3 is offline  
post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:47 PM
Bek
Your Cigar Aficionado
 
Bek's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Posts: 7,144
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Sportbike: 2007 Yamaha FZ6 & 2000 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic
Years Riding: Long enough to know not long enough...
How you found us: Google-fu
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Bek
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
a Clip is a slang for Mag on da streetz.




Bek is offline  
post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:49 PM
King Nothing


 
Kegger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ur Moms House
Posts: 17,944
Location: Ur Moms House
Sportbike: I ride Ur Mom
Years Riding: As long as Ive known Ur Mom
How you found us: u found me
           
Dhaval from india posts 95% worthless posts on a forum, while looking to offend someone 100% of the time. With each post, members get .5% more fed up with his shit. How many posts can Dhaval make before the members throw him a bag party?

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
Kegger is offline  
post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:50 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Gone In 3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas/Chicago
Posts: 5,771
Location: Texas/Chicago
Sportbike: CBR1000RR
Years Riding: Been around the block with training wheels
How you found us: Folks
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bek View Post




Quote:
5. clip

What dumbasses and gangbangers call a magazine.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clip
nuff said
Gone In 3 is offline  
post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:52 PM
G2G
Registered User
 
G2G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,288
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: It changes everyday
Years Riding: since 1991
How you found us: Ur mom
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
Dhaval from india posts 95% worthless posts on a forum, while looking to offend someone 100% of the time. With each post, members get .5% more fed up with his shit. How many posts can Dhaval make before the members throw him a bag party?





"That just happened!"
G2G is offline  
post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Gone In 3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas/Chicago
Posts: 5,771
Location: Texas/Chicago
Sportbike: CBR1000RR
Years Riding: Been around the block with training wheels
How you found us: Folks
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
Dhaval from india posts 95% worthless posts on a forum, while looking to offend someone 100% of the time. With each post, members get .5% more fed up with his shit. How many posts can Dhaval make before the members throw him a bag party?
That's racist
Gone In 3 is offline  
post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:54 PM
Resident Slow Guy
 
ENutz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a plane
Posts: 7,391
Location: On a plane
Sportbike: Ain't got none!
Years Riding: Since May 21, 2011
How you found us: The intarwebz
           
Send a message via Yahoo to ENutz
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
Dhaval from india posts 95% worthless posts on a forum, while looking to offend someone 100% of the time. With each post, members get .5% more fed up with his shit. How many posts can Dhaval make before the members throw him a bag party?


I done soiled my pantalones.

<- Erwin

CCS AM #611

"Nigga if you ride, nigga you gon fall!" - Katt Williams

Ashwin Gopal, David Ryan, Baby Ronin Tyler, John George, Chris Kotacka aka 'Arch', Eva Grzegorczyk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob, Esq. View Post
image v. substance. Some people want to be motorcyclists, others just want to be seen as motorcyclists.
ENutz is offline  
post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:56 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: GL, WI
Posts: 5,356
Location: GL, WI
Sportbike: R6, SV1000s, rm250
Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
How you found us: team chicago
           
I can't picture an Indian gangbanger.
Superspud needs his med's is offline  
post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:56 PM
Fat guy on a sport bike
 
Pocket Rockets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Naperville
Posts: 3,444
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: Schwinn
Years Riding: 7 minutes and 52 seconds
How you found us: ask.com
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?
Are these OGs or the new breed? OGs can handle a lot more shot than the new muhfuggas.
Quote:

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?
They be over payin

Quote:

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?
Dwayne is a dumbass. Don't be smokin wat yewz be sellin yo!

Quote:

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?
How pure is it? Is he slangin to gangsta folks or whitey?

Quote:

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?
Ask Lajames for some of dem AKs

Quote:

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
Bitches don't have access to dat shit!

Quote:

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
I'm a hitman, not a tagger

Quote:

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. The re be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?
Tyrone aint those bitches baby daddy! Look at the nose!

Quote:

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?
Feed em wit da dead snitches. They had it commin yo!
Quote:
10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

What kind of loads is he using? Whats the fps?
Pocket Rockets is offline  
post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 02:58 PM
Bek
Your Cigar Aficionado
 
Bek's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Posts: 7,144
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Sportbike: 2007 Yamaha FZ6 & 2000 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic
Years Riding: Long enough to know not long enough...
How you found us: Google-fu
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Bek
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
Dhaval from india posts 95% worthless posts on a forum, while looking to offend someone 100% of the time. With each post, members get .5% more fed up with his shit. How many posts can Dhaval make before the members throw him a bag party?
Bek is offline  
post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 03:07 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: GL, WI
Posts: 5,356
Location: GL, WI
Sportbike: R6, SV1000s, rm250
Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
How you found us: team chicago
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone in 3 View Post
nuff said
Quote:
5. clip

What dumbasses and gangbangers call a magazine.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clip
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSpud View Post
I can't picture an Indian gangbanger.








Last edited by Superspud needs his med's; 11-23-2010 at 01:40 AM.
Superspud needs his med's is offline  
post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 03:17 PM
Registered User
 
Chunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,848
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: I don't ride
How you found us: google
           
be nice everyone.

<---- Useless Mufugga
Chunk is offline  
post #21 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 04:07 PM
The Violator
 
Troy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Lombard
Posts: 4,101
Location: Lombard
Sportbike: A little bit of everything.
Years Riding: Not nearly enough!
How you found us: On a ride in Colorado
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
Dhaval from india posts 95% worthless posts on a forum, while looking to offend someone 100% of the time. With each post, members get .5% more fed up with his shit. How many posts can Dhaval make before the members throw him a bag party?
You judgemental piece of shit.
Troy is offline  
post #22 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 04:18 PM
PIKUACH NEFESH
 
STANIMAL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: G-VIEW
Posts: 6,900
Location: G-VIEW
Sportbike: Italian,British,Japanese,Czech
Years Riding: LONG TIME
How you found us: CRR
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Troy View Post
You judgemental piece of shit.
Dont go there again.

MOTO AND MOTOR
1906 TECHNY RD.
NORTHBROOK IL 60062

SALES*SERVICE*PARTS
847-790-4848
STANIMAL is offline  
post #23 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-22-2010, 08:01 PM
Registered User
 
SilentAlero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Alsip
Posts: 8,508
Location: Alsip
Sportbike: 01 Giggy 7fidday
Years Riding: been riding your mom for years
How you found us: The hobo on lower wacker sold me the link.
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Troy View Post
You judgemental piece of shit.

Dgrsuspension.com

~ High Performance Coilovers

Silentedition.com
Quote:
Watching the Cubs lose is the opposite of appreciating a fine wine ó itís like watching a car accident in progress. Itís horrifying, yet gruesomely riveting, and you canít help but watch and sympathize with the poor souls inside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
coming to CLSB for relationship advice is like asking fat people in mcdonalds about nutrition.
SilentAlero is offline  
post #24 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-23-2010, 08:35 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: GL, WI
Posts: 5,356
Location: GL, WI
Sportbike: R6, SV1000s, rm250
Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
How you found us: team chicago
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSpud View Post






Superspud needs his med's is offline  
post #25 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-23-2010, 08:37 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: GL, WI
Posts: 5,356
Location: GL, WI
Sportbike: R6, SV1000s, rm250
Years Riding: since 2001 in socal
How you found us: team chicago
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSpud View Post
Superspud needs his med's is offline  
post #26 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-24-2010, 01:27 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Gone In 3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas/Chicago
Posts: 5,771
Location: Texas/Chicago
Sportbike: CBR1000RR
Years Riding: Been around the block with training wheels
How you found us: Folks
           
Ugh..cant stand call centers
Gone In 3 is offline  
post #27 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-24-2010, 01:55 AM
yo quiero su taco
 
whiteSeatEnvy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Woodridge
Posts: 12,745
Location: Woodridge
Sportbike: Honda CBR 954 blk/slvr
Years Riding: 10 years
How you found us: They found me. Follow the white rabbit.
           
Deja, a mannheim hooker, tested clean on monday and positive on friday. She hooked 23 Johns in those five days and main-lined twice with a shared needle. If the probability of getting AIDS from the needle is 1 out of 50. And the probability of getting AIDS from sleazy white boys is 1 out of 20. What is the probability that Deja has AIDS.

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
whiteSeatEnvy is offline  
post #28 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-24-2010, 01:58 PM
Eat a bag o' dix!
 
trkyleg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 8,018
Location: Oklahoma
Sportbike: ratty one
Years Riding: a few days
How you found us: Uncle Bad Touch
           
^If she fucked you...odds are pretty good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki047 View Post
As long as their tits are bigger than their dicks, im in.

-"You will meet your destiny on the road of avoidance."

-"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why we call it the present."

-"It's not considered premarital sex if you don't plan on getting married."
trkyleg is offline  
post #29 of 29 (permalink) Old 11-24-2010, 03:05 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
whiteSeatEnvy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Woodridge
Posts: 12,745
Location: Woodridge
Sportbike: Honda CBR 954 blk/slvr
Years Riding: 10 years
How you found us: They found me. Follow the white rabbit.
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by trkyleg View Post
^If she fucked you...odds are pretty good.
lol zing! you bastid!

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
whiteSeatEnvy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome