Duck is Dead - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-17-2011, 09:39 AM Thread Starter
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary Surgeon.. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet Pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's Chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and Sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has Passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the Vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean You haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
Room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on In amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his Front paws on the examination table and sniffed the Duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out Of the room. A few minutes later he returned with A cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately Sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back On its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and Strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, But as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, A dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys And produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
She cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my Word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Ken.


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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-17-2011, 09:42 AM
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-17-2011, 10:18 AM
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-17-2011, 05:14 PM
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I got tears .
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-28-2011, 12:38 AM
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-28-2011, 01:16 AM
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that's funny as shit. And with insurance, they'll decline the whole thing and say the vet should have only charged you $50 for it all and you're still stuck paying $150 to the vet, and the Ins company only applies the $50 they said it should have cost to your de(DUCK)table.

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 02:24 AM
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After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?""Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 08:35 AM
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^ who is that?? weird anyway.

haha! the lab report. good 1

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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 08:51 AM
BSB > WSBK > MotoGP
 
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It's a bot padding its post count to the point it can start spamming links.

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 09:09 AM
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 01:25 PM
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That was cute.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 08:09 PM
Please attend carefully..
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
de(DUCK)table.

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it." - JP2

"Life is just a place where we spend time between games" - former Philadelphia Flyers coach Fred Shero

"everyone's a nutjob, some just have more restraint than others" - EndlessRR
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