A man escapes from prison. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-09-2011, 02:40 PM Thread Starter
Sarcasm in every post.
 
scout67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 40mi West of the City
Posts: 4,538
Location: 40mi West of the City
Sportbike: '01 ZX-6R, '88 Katana 600
Years Riding: 20+yrs.
How you found us: Written on a YWB's ass. Next to "EMR was here"
           
A man escapes from prison.

Probably a repost, but





A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
scout67 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-09-2011, 02:45 PM
Registered User
 
Pilotx1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Elk Grove IL
Posts: 15,833
Location: Elk Grove IL
Sportbike: '03 Gsxr 1000, '04 Zuma,07 GSXR 600 trackbike
Years Riding: june 2007, since new,july '10
How you found us: friend
           
Send a message via AIM to Pilotx1 Send a message via Yahoo to Pilotx1
hahahahaha

-Jason
CCS AM #31
Pilotx1 is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-09-2011, 02:57 PM
Bek
Your Cigar Aficionado
 
Bek's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Posts: 7,144
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Sportbike: 2007 Yamaha FZ6 & 2000 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic
Years Riding: Long enough to know not long enough...
How you found us: Google-fu
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Bek
Bek is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-09-2011, 04:18 PM
Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
 
SmartDrug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Bartlett
Posts: 11,410
Location: Bartlett
Sportbike: 955i Speed Triple, 100AE Road King, AP1 Honda S2000
Years Riding: 1/3rd of my life.
How you found us: Cave Johnson
           
Hahahaha!

Brian
NESBA #22
الكافرة مع بندقية سوداء
Si vis pacem parabellum

Quote:
Yeah, I quit doing blow, not being rad!
SmartDrug is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 10:02 PM
bwa
Boom
 
bwa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Kalispell, MT
Posts: 13,320
Location: Kalispell, MT
Sportbike: None :(
Years Riding: not long enough
How you found us: Crazeinc
           
bwa is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-12-2011, 06:43 AM
Registered User
 
Dug2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: schiller park
Posts: 2,735
Location: schiller park
Sportbike: drz400sm
Years Riding: yes
How you found us: search engine
           
good 1

418
Dug2 is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-12-2011, 07:39 AM
black magic
 
bio-nuke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: westmont
Posts: 1,432
Location: westmont
Sportbike: gxr600k8
Years Riding: 4yrs
How you found us: newenough.com
           
uh oH !!!

i want to drink, but only to kill a certain few brain cells and i don't care how many i have to take out to get to them.
bio-nuke is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-12-2011, 09:36 AM
I am the Stig.
 
JRobbins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,763
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: 09' Triumph Daytona 675, 06' Triumph Thruxton, 74' CB360
Years Riding: Some say he's been ridin motorcycles since before they were invented... all we know is he's the Stig
How you found us: Met Chills while rockclimbing.
         
JRobbins is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-14-2011, 08:22 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Burbank,IL
Posts: 28
Location: Burbank,IL
Sportbike: zx10r
Years Riding: 3
How you found us: friend
 
Hehe!
kurens is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome