"These are so bad they are good".
> 1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
> 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you,
> but don't start anything."
> 3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't
> serve food in here."
> 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
> 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
> says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
> 6. Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The
> ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
> 7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
> this taste funny to you?"
> 8. A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing
> 'The green, green grass of home.'"
> "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
> "Is it common?"
> "It's not unusual."
> 9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
> "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
> "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
> "It's true -- no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.
> 10. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
> The other says, "Are you sure?"
> The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
> 11. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
> cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
> "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog
> up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm
> going to have to put him down."
> "What? because he's cross-eyed?"
> "No, because he's really heavy."
> 13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
> couldn't find any.
> 14. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he
> couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks
> are too high."
> 15. I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.
> 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a
> fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have
> your kayak and heat it too.
> 17. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
> This one's much worse! How can they get any worse? Read it and see!
> 18. In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word
> about electricity. Once, while vacationing out West, he stopped at
> the Sioux reservation. Edison was shocked to learn that there was no
> plumbing, and that he would have to use an outhouse. In fact, he was
> told, the Sioux had to use the outhouse regardless of the weather.
> To help the Sioux, Edison installed lights in the outhouse. With this
> kind act, he became the first person to wire a head for a reservation!