Friday Funnies... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 11:47 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,084
Friday Funnies...

"These are so bad they are good".


> 1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.


> 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you,

> but don't start anything."


> 3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't

> serve food in here."


> 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


> 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and

> says, "A beer please, and one for the road."


> 6. Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The

> ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.


> 7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does

> this taste funny to you?"


> 8. A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing

> 'The green, green grass of home.'"

> "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

> "Is it common?"

> "It's not unusual."


> 9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to

> Dolly,

> "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

> "I don't believe you," said Dolly.

> "It's true -- no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.


> 10. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my

> electron."

> The other says, "Are you sure?"

> The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."


> 11. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's

> cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

> "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog

> up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm

> going to have to put him down."

> "What? because he's cross-eyed?"

> "No, because he's really heavy."



> 13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I

> couldn't find any.


> 14. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he

> couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks

> are too high."


> 15. I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.


> 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a

> fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have

> your kayak and heat it too.


> 17. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.


> This one's much worse! How can they get any worse? Read it and see!


> 18. In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word

> about electricity. Once, while vacationing out West, he stopped at

> the Sioux reservation. Edison was shocked to learn that there was no


> plumbing, and that he would have to use an outhouse. In fact, he was

> told, the Sioux had to use the outhouse regardless of the weather.

> To help the Sioux, Edison installed lights in the outhouse. With this

> kind act, he became the first person to wire a head for a reservation!

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 12:20 PM
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Where do you find these?

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 12:50 PM
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 01:18 PM
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 01:38 PM
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