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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 12:52 PM Thread Starter
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Generous Lawyer

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine
when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to
investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"


"We don't have money for food," the poor man replied.


"Well, then, you can come with me to my house" the lawyer said.


"But sir. I have a wife and two children with me."


"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor
man he stated, "You come with us also."


The second man then, in a pitiful voice said, "But sir, I also have
a wife and SIX children with me!"


"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.


They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car
as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows
turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you
for taking all of us with you."


The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the grass
is almost a foot high!"

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

-Herbert Hoover
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-07-2003, 02:21 PM
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-14-2003, 09:35 AM
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DACHSHUNDS AND LEOPARDS
A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her
faithful pet dachshund along for company.

One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the
dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a
leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of
having lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now! Then he
noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy,
that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around
here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look
of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the
leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him
heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must
be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop
on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now
the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and
thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits
down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them
yet...and just when they get close enough to hear the dachshund says....

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!"

REMEMBER: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH
BULLSHIT

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-18-2003, 10:52 PM
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NICE!!

A woman goes out on an African safari with her husband. Sadly, the woman's mother cons her way into it. Anyway, about two weeks into the safari, the wife wakes up and starts screaming, "SHE'S GONE SHE'S GONE SHE'S GONE!!!" Waking up the tour guide and the husband, they find out the the husband's mother in law is missing. So they grab the rifles and start searching. After a few hours of searching they see her bent over a tree stump and a lion is straddling her from the behind doggy-style. The wife starts yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!" The husband says, "Nothing, that lion got himself into that mess."

<----Jeff
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-19-2003, 01:06 PM
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Good one, Jeff. Where did you hear it?

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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