Liberals, Conservatives, and Rednecks.......... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 12:45 PM Thread Starter
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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Liberals, Conservatives, and Rednecks..........

The difference between Liberals, Conservatives, and Rednecks.........

Scenario:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal response:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative response:

BANG!

Redneck response:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....Reload... BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 01:01 PM
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Ah yes, an oldie but goodie.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 01:05 PM
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CLSB response: That's the wrong size caliper for self defense!
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 01:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suh-c View Post
CLSB response: That's the wrong size caliper for self defense!
Calipers are for self-defense?
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 01:40 PM
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 01:53 PM Thread Starter
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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When used for something other than their intended purpose, those upper ones leave some pretty nasty wounds.

Ken.


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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 02:01 PM
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You guys didn't know? Calipers can tear friendships apart
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scout67 View Post
The difference between Liberals, Conservatives, and Rednecks.........

Scenario:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a pistol, and you are a horrible shot, because after the first week of owning the gun, you stopped going to the range. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal response:

The liberal pulls his pistol, fumbles it because he's scared, drops it on the ground.

The "crazy" man yells "Happy Halloween", and runs off.

Conservative response:

The conservative pulls his pistol, fumbles it because he's scared, drops it on the ground. The gun discharges accidentally because he opted for the "man's gun, and not a pussy liberal Glock", a .357 revolver with a traditional safety. The round strikes his daughter in her face, killing her instantly, before hitting his wife in the gut.

The man sobs over the body of his daughter, while his wife bleeds out on the sidewalk.

All while the "crazy" man calls police and explains that it was a Halloween prank....... and can't understand why someone would carry a pistol in their quiet neighborhood.

Redneck response:

The only man who actually used his pistol for shooting vermin in the back yard, along with teaching his daughter to shoot............. Pulls his weapon and expertly draws down on the approaching man.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....Reload... BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Mom: "Did you really have to shoot him?"
Dad: "Shut up bitch, wait in the car! *Whack*"

Afterwards he's arrested for shooting an unarmed neighbor who was playing a Halloween joke on pedestrians in a quiet neighborhood. His daughter is removed from the "abusive" home, and grows up to be a whore.

Fixed it for you.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 02:32 PM
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liberals, good at changing the story to try and prove some point rather than whats been proven.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 02:58 PM
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 03:11 PM
Bek
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripleZ View Post
Fixed it for you.
Quote:
a .357 revolver with a traditional safety
Revolvers "traditionally" don't have safeties.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 04:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bek View Post
Revolvers "traditionally" don't have safeties.
Yeah, that's what I was getting at. Old 30/30 lever actions have a 1/2 cock position, but wasn't sure about a revolver. My black powder one does not.

Just pointing out the alternative version of the joke......

On the flip side, I just helped my Dad pick out a Kimber 1911. He wants one for "Bear" protection in the woods. (My mom wants him to get one). Personally a large canister of Bear mace will probably do the same.......... but I'm not arguing about him buying another Pistol. (Which will eventually become mine)

I really want a Kimber now though.
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-23-2011, 06:28 PM
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Kimber is a badass gun...well worth the money.


Nice post by the way...that put a smile on my face...

Kevin Hanson
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Louisville, KY
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