Lie Clock - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-03-2011, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
JRSMAIL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Johnsburg, Il
Posts: 9,428
Location: Johnsburg, Il
Sportbike: A weed wacker
Years Riding: Just started today as a matter of fact..
How you found us: A dream I had once
           
Send a message via MSN to JRSMAIL
Lie Clock

Lie Clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at
the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,
"What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that
she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life."

"Where's Obama's clock?" asked the man.

"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Jon
MSF Instructor


<---- Useless

Always Stand For What You Believe In... Even If Means You Stand Alone...
JRSMAIL is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-03-2011, 09:26 PM
Registered User
 
suh-c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Hoffman Estates
Posts: 11,448
Location: Hoffman Estates
Sportbike: '04 CBR 600RR
Years Riding: days
How you found us: youngkow's monkey ass
           
suh-c is offline  
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-03-2011, 11:15 PM
PIKUACH NEFESH
 
STANIMAL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: G-VIEW
Posts: 6,900
Location: G-VIEW
Sportbike: Italian,British,Japanese,Czech
Years Riding: LONG TIME
How you found us: CRR
           
STANIMAL is offline  
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 06:14 AM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
scout67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 40mi West of the City
Posts: 4,538
Location: 40mi West of the City
Sportbike: '01 ZX-6R, '88 Katana 600
Years Riding: 20+yrs.
How you found us: Written on a YWB's ass. Next to "EMR was here"
           

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
scout67 is offline  
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 08:28 AM
Moderator
 
Chills's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 23,640
Location: Naperville, IL
Sportbike: Kawi ZX-10R
Years Riding: Since February 2012
How you found us: NESBA bbs
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Chills
Heard that one used for many politicians.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
Chills is offline  
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 09:01 AM
The Halo hides my Horns
 
Lonely Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Posts: 12,690
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Sportbike: SV650
Years Riding: 1 year
How you found us: Google
           
Recycled.

aut cum scuto aut in scuto

http://www.firespeedtactical.com

My ZenFolio Gallery: www.LonelyRaven.ZenFolio.com
Lonely Raven is offline  
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 11:24 AM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
Blade Runner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Carpentersville
Posts: 9,389
Location: Carpentersville
Sportbike: 2000 929
Years Riding: Longer than most of you have been alive. And I'm still slow.
How you found us: The voices in my head told me to come here
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chills View Post
Heard that one used for many politicians.
First time for me was with Tricky Dick.

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
Blade Runner is offline  
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 11:25 AM
Registered User
 
Pilotx1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Elk Grove IL
Posts: 15,833
Location: Elk Grove IL
Sportbike: '03 Gsxr 1000, '04 Zuma,07 GSXR 600 trackbike
Years Riding: june 2007, since new,july '10
How you found us: friend
           
Send a message via AIM to Pilotx1 Send a message via Yahoo to Pilotx1
bush's clock could power a cessna during his tenure

-Jason
CCS AM #31

Last edited by Pilotx1; 10-04-2011 at 11:32 AM.
Pilotx1 is offline  
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 11:30 AM
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
FiReBReTHa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 11,172
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: 04 GSXR6
Years Riding: 2
How you found us: I thought it was a line for muffins
           
Send a message via AIM to FiReBReTHa
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonely Raven View Post
Recycled.

wow, hollywood, jokes, this pepsi bottle, everything is just recycled crap nowadays.


www.firespeedtactical.com
Trial By Fire.
Like our page!
http://www.facebook.com/firespeedtactical

Quote:
"I'm spooning a barrett 50 cal. I could kill a building."
-Archer
FiReBReTHa is offline  
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 11:50 AM
Moderator
 
Chills's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 23,640
Location: Naperville, IL
Sportbike: Kawi ZX-10R
Years Riding: Since February 2012
How you found us: NESBA bbs
           
Send a message via Yahoo to Chills
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilotx1 View Post
bush's clock could power a cessna during his tenure
I say it could power an Osprey!

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
Chills is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome