IT - wish you to know... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-03-2012, 08:39 AM Thread Starter
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IT - wish you to know...

My boss sent me this. Pretty common, and more truthful than funny. I added the 11th item as it's what I've been dealing with a lot lately.


A great list of some things we all wished our users knew.

1. Don’t argue with me.


If you come to me to ask technical questions, please don’t argue when you don’t like my answer. If you think you know more about what you’re asking than I do, then why even ask? On that same note, if I am arguing with you, it’s because I’m certain that I am correct; otherwise I’d just tell you “I don’t know” or perhaps point you somewhere that you could look it up. We don’t argue just for the sake of arguing.

2. If you say you’re an ***** for doing something, I’ll likely agree.

When you start a conversation by insulting yourself (e.g. “I’m such an *****”), you will not make me laugh or feel sorry for you; all you will succeed in doing is reminding me that yes, you are, indeed, an *****, and that I’m going to hate having to talk to you. Trust me, you don’t want to start out this way.

3. Don’t lie about what you did, we’ll find out anyway.

We’re okay with you making mistakes; fixing them is part of our job. We are NOT, however, okay with you lying to us about a mistake that you made. It just makes it that much harder to resolve and thus makes our job more difficult. Be honest and we’ll get the problem fixed and both of us can continue on with our business. Lying to us and, therefore, costing us twice as much of our time will not win you any brownie points with IT.

4. IT might be awesome and powerful, but even we have limitations.

There is no magic “Fix it” button. Everything takes some amount of work to fix, and not everything is worth fixing or — gasp! — even possible to fix. If I tell you that you’re going to have to re-do a document that you accidentally deleted two months ago, please don’t get mad at ME. I’m not ignoring your problem and it’s not that I don’t like you, we just can’t always fix everything.

5. Don’t cry wolf.

Not everything you ask us to do is “urgent”. In fact, by marking things as “urgent” every time, you’ll almost certainly ensure that we treat none of it as a priority.

6. It’s pretty likely you don’t have the most important job.

You are not the only one who needs help, and you usually don’t have the most urgent issue. Give us some time to get to your problem; it will get fixed.

7. Like an elevator button, we won’t come to you faster if you keep pushing ours.

E-mailing us several times about the same issue is not only unnecessary, it’s highly annoying as well. We record issues in a database so that we don’t lose track of them (remember how we ask that you create a ticket? That’s why.) We will typically respond as soon as we have a useful update to make. If your problem is urgent, please do let us know (but see number five).

8. Email me, we’ve got 5 devices that tell us when we get a new email. However, many of us still only have one that tells us when you left a voicemail.

Yes, we prefer e-mail over phone calls. It has nothing to do with being friendly or anti-social, it’s about efficiency. It is much faster and easier for us to list out a set of questions that we need answers to than it is for us to call and ask you them one by one. You can find the answers at your leisure and, while we’re waiting, we can work on other problems.

9. Don’t cry.

We may, at times, seem blunt and rude. It’s not that we mean to, we just don’t have the time to sugar coat things for you. We assume that we are both adults and can handle the reality of a problem. If you did something wrong, don’t be surprised when we tell you. We don’t care that it was a mistake because, honestly, it makes no difference to us. Please don’t take it personal, we just don’t want it to happen again.

10. We can do most, if not more than the things you think we can do, but we don’t because we don’t really care.

Finally, yes, I can read your e-mail, yes, I can see what web pages you look at while you’re at work, yes, I can access every file on your work computer, and yes, I can tell if you are chatting with people on instant messenger (and can read what you’re typing, as well). But no, we don’t do it. It’s highly unethical and, perhaps more importantly, you really aren’t that interesting. Unless I am instructed to specifically monitor or investigate your actions, I don’t do it. There really are much more interesting things on the Internet than you.

11. No, I don't know every feature, every button, and every setting in every piece of software ever written. Nor do I have the features and specs of every laptop, desktop, and phone currently on the market memorized.

Just like I'm going to tell you to do; I would simply be cracking open the manual, reading the PDF, or checking the help file to answer the question that you waited a week to ask me about.

aut cum scuto aut in scuto

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-05-2012, 04:46 AM
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I like the presentation of your post! Much appreciated
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-05-2012, 07:36 AM
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I like the 9th point of your this post! Very on point
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-05-2012, 07:57 AM
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Great post and so true.

I call the above "Layer 8" or the classic PEBKAC ("Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)

Had to send this on to my desktop guys for a good laugh.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 08:48 AM
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As someone who's been in desktop support and now server support for the past 6 yrs, I agree with them all.

My biggest pet-peeve is when people have a problem for weeks or even months, but only report it when it becomes an urgent issue.

"So this has been happening since October and you never told anyone or reported it?? I appreciate you telling me this at 4pm on a Friday and indicating this will affect a client deliverable if not fixed before the weekend."
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 11:24 AM
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As a fairly computer-capable person, who provides support to non-profits, but is at the mercy of the corporate IT folks at work, I never call the "help(less) desk" unless I have exhausted every possible alternative first.

They always assume I'm a complete idiot.
They talk down to me.
They assume I haven't tried the simple things, like rebooting, checking my IP address assignment or doing an Ipconfig /release /renew.
They get upset that I have actually tried to use my computer knowledge (mind you, I support the applications we sell to customers) to try to deal with their network/application issues.

I always hang up the phone sorry I called them.
And then, when I'm on the road, they call back, then close the ticket when I don't return their call in 2 hours. Grr.

Craig
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beac83 View Post
They always assume I'm a complete idiot.
They talk down to me.
They assume I haven't tried the simple things, like rebooting, checking my IP address assignment or doing an Ipconfig /release /renew.
They get upset that I have actually tried to use my computer knowledge (mind you, I support the applications we sell to customers) to try to deal with their network/application issues.
To be fair IT has to deal with people that do the dumbest thing. So when IT first suggest the simplest fixes it is usually because that's what's wrong.... also it help eliminate the simple so they can move onto the complex.

I sometimes get frustrated with my IT department, but most of the time they are easy to work with.

That being said they should always treat people with the same respect they would like to receive. Talking down to people is never productive.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 11:32 AM
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I just got off the phone with a woman that expected me to be 100% knowledgeable in how to convert some other company's web based survey into PDF. They were able to do it for her so she'd like me to show her how to do it.

me: "Unfortunately we're not well versed in every other company's websites."
user: "but they used adobe, you should just show me how to do it using adobe"
me: "unfortunately we're not 100% knowledgeable on every feature of every software package, I can give it a try with you if you'd like"
user: "I'll just call them and ask them what they did"

WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!?

Chris
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 11:36 AM
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chunk: hey IT dude, why I can't open email from my bitches? You blocking them son?
IT dude: Chunk we do not block emails unless they are inappropriate
chunk: You saying my bitches are inappropriate?
IT dude: depends what they are emailing you
chunk: pictures of theys coochie
IT dude: that is inappropriate
chunk: you gay muffucka?
IT dude: yes

<---- Useless Mufugga
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 11:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Achtung View Post
I call the above "Layer 8" or the classic PEBKAC ("Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
I worked for a computer company that actually had a code in our system for tech to let other know the person was an idiot. When they put in the code, the message was "keyboard chair error".

I don't ride, I cook!
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 01:41 PM
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Chuck,.....now that was funny.



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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 01:50 PM
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Ha - Love it - I am the guy who buys lunch for IT and my shit gets fixed PRONTO so when that moment does come up when I need something done yesterday, it happens that quick - But, with my new Co, we outsource our Help desk and it sucks fucking Tnat' s sweaty bean bag - I have to explain myself (3) times to each Tier Level and they all ask the same god damn questions and then all say the same thing, "I will have to escalate and have someone call you back" and then like B said, they call back when I am on the road and close the tix after 20 mins so they can "check it off" - Not to mention NONE of them speak English very well - I love the DEEP Indian Accent and then, "My name is Mark"

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2012, 02:03 PM
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Just cause he is Indian, his name can't be Mark? lol
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2012, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piercedqt78 View Post
I worked for a computer company that actually had a code in our system for tech to let other know the person was an idiot. When they put in the code, the message was "keyboard chair error".
aka an ID 10T error

Jeff
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2012, 02:12 PM
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Why dont you guys just use a calculator and a note pad , problems solved , thank me later.
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2012, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bug View Post
Ha - Love it - I am the guy who buys lunch for IT and my shit gets fixed PRONTO so when that moment does come up when I need something done yesterday, it happens that quick - But, with my new Co, we outsource our Help desk and it sucks fucking Tnat' s sweaty bean bag - I have to explain myself (3) times to each Tier Level and they all ask the same god damn questions and then all say the same thing, "I will have to escalate and have someone call you back" and then like B said, they call back when I am on the road and close the tix after 20 mins so they can "check it off" - Not to mention NONE of them speak English very well - I love the DEEP Indian Accent and then, "My name is Mark"
Great plan Bug. Except my Help Desk guys/gals are in Melbourne, FL and I'm - Well, I'm at whatever hotel/customer/airport this is today.

Craig
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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2012, 02:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by STANIMAL View Post
Why dont you guys just use a calculator and a note pad , problems solved , thank me later.
Unfortunately, email won't arrive with attachments and print from my HP-25, or even from my HP-41C.

Also can't demo our software, look up pricing, create system drawings, check on quotes/service tickets, find and install new firmware, configure systems, etc. without a working laptop.

Our IT folks have locked down our machines with Aveco. It's now to the point I can't install and run our product softwares on my company-managed laptop.

Craig
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Last edited by beac83; 01-10-2012 at 02:20 PM.
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