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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-22-2012, 07:48 PM Thread Starter
PIKUACH NEFESH
 
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$hit cops have said ...........

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime Information Center)
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-22-2012, 08:00 PM
Chief Apex Inspector
 
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Nice.....

Tom

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It's ALL between the ears.....
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-23-2012, 02:13 AM
The apex was where?
 
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I'm passing on to my bro, he's a county deputy, I am sure he will actually use these given the chance


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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-23-2012, 04:29 AM
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I use #2 often.

"There are no men more ignoble or more foolish, no men whose actions are fraught with greater possibility of mischief to their country and to mankind, than those who exalt unrighteous peace as better than righteous war." - Theodore Roosevelt
"I will bleed on the flag to keep the stripes red!"
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-23-2012, 08:22 AM
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I liked 16. Nice list.

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-23-2012, 09:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZoomByU View Post
I use #2 often.
Pics of the girls on the bed or we call you a liar.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-24-2012, 04:58 AM
Woo Woo
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chargers View Post
Pics of the girls on the bed or we call you a liar.
Cuffs scratch the wood on my headboard, wife no likey. :d

"There are no men more ignoble or more foolish, no men whose actions are fraught with greater possibility of mischief to their country and to mankind, than those who exalt unrighteous peace as better than righteous war." - Theodore Roosevelt
"I will bleed on the flag to keep the stripes red!"
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-28-2012, 01:59 AM
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My fiancee is a police officer for Chicago and what they like to do is when there are large groups of people the cops play "ticket in the face" when they start mouthing off they say "ticket in the face" really fast and the people are like "what?". Kinda like in Super Troopers how they say "meow" LOL.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-12-2012, 03:31 PM
Woo Woo
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LockDownMike View Post
My fiancee is a police officer for Chicago and what they like to do is when there are large groups of people the cops play "ticket in the face" when they start mouthing off they say "ticket in the face" really fast and the people are like "what?". Kinda like in Super Troopers how they say "meow" LOL.
I like that. When I have someone who is really drunk or don't know how to talk I just talk gibberish really fast and throw in a "ya herd meh?" in there. Usually they just nod and agree with the gibberish.

"There are no men more ignoble or more foolish, no men whose actions are fraught with greater possibility of mischief to their country and to mankind, than those who exalt unrighteous peace as better than righteous war." - Theodore Roosevelt
"I will bleed on the flag to keep the stripes red!"
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-12-2012, 10:30 PM
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The line I use most....

ya, I can make the cuffs tighter!

Followed by....
You watch to much tv, that shit don't work like that in the real world

Arrogance has to be earned.
Serve, Protect and Break a ......
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-17-2012, 05:42 AM
i am a newbie don't kick my butt please
 
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ha ha. very nice list. i like the fifth reply. karla
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