A golfer playing in Ireland - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2012, 08:58 AM Thread Starter
Sarcasm in every post.
 
scout67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 40mi West of the City
Posts: 4,538
Location: 40mi West of the City
Sportbike: '01 ZX-6R, '88 Katana 600
Years Riding: 20+yrs.
How you found us: Written on a YWB's ass. Next to "EMR was here"
           
A golfer playing in Ireland

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his
Drive into the woods. Looking for his ball,
He found a little Leprechaun flat on his back,
A big bump on his head and the golfer's ball
Beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from
The cart and poured it over the little guy,
Reviving him.

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.
Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer
Answers in relief. 'I don't want anything,
I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.'

And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself.

I have to do something for him. I'll give him
The three things I would want... A great golf game,
All the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back.
On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into
The woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,'
The little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye,
how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers.
I'm an internationally famous golfer now.'
He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're
All right.'
'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer
Golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money
Situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states.
'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket
And pull out a 100 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment,
And says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun,
'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job.
How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers,
'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock.
'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for
A Catholic priest in a small parish.'

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
scout67 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2012, 09:03 AM
Registered User
 
under200's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: norridge, IL
Posts: 5,837
Location: norridge, IL
Sportbike: 2009 Triumph Street Triple R, 2011 Triumph Bonneville SE
Years Riding: 11
How you found us: web search
           

Under200
under200 is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-22-2012, 08:13 PM
Pierced & tattooed freak!
 
GixxerDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Oswego, IL
Posts: 3,046
Location: Oswego, IL
Sportbike: 1999 GSX-R750
Years Riding: "None of your bleepin' business!" - Joe Pesci
How you found us: Read about it in a fortune cookie
           
You're gonna burn in hell for that one. hehe

Dante: [to Randal] You never go ass-to-mouth!
Randal: [to Dante] Would you grow up!
Becky: [to Dante] OK, I'm only telling you this because we're friends, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass-to-mouth.
Randal: [chuckling] Ha! I knew it.
GixxerDave is offline  
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-22-2012, 09:00 PM
Another Polak
 
c2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Elk Grove, IL
Posts: 2,495
Location: Elk Grove, IL
Sportbike: '05 CBR 600RR
Years Riding: Since '04
How you found us: Friend
           
lol

" Never drive faster, than your guardian angel can fly."

My Garage

PSN: chamala2000

Peter
c2000 is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-22-2012, 11:10 PM
Administrator
 
HDTony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Plainfield IL
Posts: 45,956
Location: Plainfield IL
Sportbike: A couple of pasta rockets
Years Riding: Since 1989
How you found us: In the beginning there was CLSB and Tony saw that it was good.
           
Send a message via AIM to HDTony
Hahahahahha




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

AirTek Heating & Air inc.
HDTony is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-23-2012, 06:56 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chicago, il
Posts: 720
Location: Chicago, il
Sportbike: CBR1100XX & CBR1000F
Years Riding: I can't remember that far back.
How you found us: Member
      
funny
Strek is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome