Wisconsin - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-07-2003, 01:42 PM Thread Starter
Cuddlie as a koala
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Where GM used to make Tahoes
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Wisconsin

A Texan, a guy from Illinois, and a Wisconsinite are riding Horses out on the range. The Texan, just to show off, pulls an expensive bottle of whiskey out of his saddlebag, takes a couple drinks, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in mid-air.

The guy from Illinois is shocked and asks, "What are you doing?
That's a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!"
The Texan replies, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap!"
A little while later, not wanting to be outdone, the guy from Illinois pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the bottle into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it,just like the Texan.
The guy from Wisconsin can't believe it. "What are you doing? That was a very expensive bottle of champagne.
With a wink to the Texan he says "In Chicago, there's plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap."

About 15 minutes later, the Wisconsinite pulls out a bottle of beer. He opens it and takes a sip. Then another sip. Then he chugs the rest of the bottle. He then places the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun and shoots the guy from Illinois.
The Texan is visibly shaken. "What did you do that for?!?!"
The Wisconsinite replies, "Well, in Wisconsin, we have plenty of people from Illinois, and bottles are returnable.

You know you are a true Wisconsinite when:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going up north past Crivitz for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
6. Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as cheese, beer, fish,and venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. T! here are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
17. You can identify an Illinois accent.
18. You have no problem spelling Milwaukee.
19. You consider Madison exotic.
20. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Chicago.
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor ! throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
27. You know how to polka.
28. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
29. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
30. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
31. You know what to do with a Blatz.
32. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends in your area.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-07-2003, 08:39 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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hehehe, I like how the Wisconsinites talk. *giggles*

<----Jeff
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-07-2003, 09:39 PM
Joe Momma...
 
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Oak Park
Posts: 3,822
Location: Oak Park
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Years Riding: 1,2,4,5 count d'z rocks biatch!
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you forgot one....

33. YOU DRIVE LIKE A F*CKIN IDIOT
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-08-2003, 12:47 AM
Cali's Twisty Tamer
 
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: San Diego, Ca.
Posts: 1,625
Location: San Diego, Ca.
Sportbike: '96 CBR F3
Years Riding: since 98
How you found us: met at Strat's
           
34. you do at least 10 over the speed limit in Wisconsin, and 5 under in Illinois

The optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds...
The pessimist fears this to be true.


<----Shane



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