Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night
after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the
center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They
begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have
passed. After a short lull in their conversation Harold turns
to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"SEX!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up
if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could
just hold it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers,
removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they
agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they
would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting
place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure
he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where
she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident,
Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood.
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel
have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."