I haven't seen all of these before - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-20-2004, 07:35 PM Thread Starter
Jim
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: lith
Posts: 9,851
Location: lith
Sportbike: trek
Years Riding: 2
How you found us: the smell
           
I haven't seen all of these before

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"

**********

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was asalted.

**********

A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

**********

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

**********

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

**********

A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

**********

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

*********

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

**********

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

**********

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"

**********

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
"are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

**********

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before

**********

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

**********

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

**********

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

**********

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.

*********

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with nuts & hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.

**********

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh


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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-21-2004, 02:16 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mira Mesa Starbucks in San Diego,CA
Posts: 2,682
Location: Mira Mesa Starbucks in San Diego,CA
Sportbike: 2004 Red Kawasaki ZZR 600
Years Riding: since 2004
How you found us: My hubby Shane aka "Nickyfan"
           

<--------Paulette
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Lord,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the fact that I can't pass them all,
The Courage to pass most...
And the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those who refuse to
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!
"Number '69' All the Way!"
"GO NICKY HAYDEN!!!"

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-21-2004, 04:05 AM
Fellowcraft Mason
 
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Gurnee, IL
Posts: 263
Location: Gurnee, IL
Sportbike: Inthawerks
Years Riding: noob
How you found us: GOoGLe
 
LMAO
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-21-2004, 04:53 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Roselle, IL
Posts: 9,589
Location: Roselle, IL
Sportbike: 2000 Hayabusa Blue & Silver! Mods-> Oh yeah!
Years Riding: Oh just a couple or so....
How you found us: Old SBN days.......
           
Some of those are just outright BAD!

<--Kelly

.

2000 Hayabusa
2006 Honda CRF50
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-23-2004, 08:42 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,544
Location: New Mexico
Sportbike: Boo-Boo('02 Black/Yellow F4i)
Years Riding: 3
How you found us: My brother is on here.
    
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They are so cheesy I am more depressed now then happy... Except for the fsh one...hehehe

<----Jeff
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