USAF Humor - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 04:33 PM Thread Starter
Evil Moderatrix
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
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USAF Humor

Air Force Maintenance Logs
Never let it be said that Air Force ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by Air Force pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. (P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 04:38 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Woodridge
Posts: 12,745
Location: Woodridge
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Years Riding: 10 years
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Those are great Good stuff
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 05:08 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Keokuk, Iowa
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read this before. I get a feelign only the asshole arrogant SOB pilots get the smart ass responses like these.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 06:15 PM
Joe Momma...
 
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Oak Park
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Location: Oak Park
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Years Riding: 1,2,4,5 count d'z rocks biatch!
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I can't believe this made me laugh so hard!

My name is JB, people call me JB

Quote:
Originally Posted by flinchy
"I wouldn't be surprised to see this guy catch a pass with his ass cheeks"
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