How to Shower - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 04:16 PM Thread Starter
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Talking How to Shower

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.


Last edited by Ohfugit; 03-25-2004 at 04:19 PM.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 04:21 PM
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 04:58 PM
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LMAO!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 05:19 PM
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That pretty much sums it up!!

<-------- Jeff


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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 05:19 PM
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 05:27 PM
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 05:30 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Man, I just busted a gut laughing at that
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 06:14 PM
BIGG DOGGS BITE!
 
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That is [email protected]#king funny as hell!!!!

Mark

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Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and DRAMA.
With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 07:37 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
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But pee? Who pees in the shower?

<----Jeff
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 08:18 PM
Work In Progress...
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Honda4Ever
But pee? Who pees in the shower?


Who Doesnt ? hahahahaha!

Ok Ok Maybe VCook Doesnt, he is a gril anyway .

2005 Harley Night Train
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Yea I am compensating..



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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-25-2004, 09:20 PM
To Punish and Enslave
 
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Who in the hell watches me shower!!!!!!

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"- Benjamin Franklin

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook View Post
hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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