> While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster
> should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the
> other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
> The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
> patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?" To which
> "I'm late for work."
> To which he asked, "What do you do?"
> "I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded. The cop was surprised and confused.
> what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
> "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
> 2 fingers, then 3, then 4, then with my whole hand in I work side to side
> until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the
> until it's about 6 feet."
> Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
> with a six-foot asshole?"
> To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind
> bridge "
> Traffic ticket: $95.00 Court costs: $45.00 Look on cop's face .