Forrest Gump Dies - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 05-12-2004, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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Forrest Gump Dies

> > The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is
at
> the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed
> and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
> >
> >
> >
> > St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
have
> heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling
> up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for
everyone.
> The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into
Heaven."
> >
> > Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But
> nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't
too
> hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
> >
> > St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
> questions.
> >
> > First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
> >
> > Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
> >
> > Third: What is God's first name?"
> >
> > Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day
and
> sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
chance
> to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
> >
> > Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
begin
> with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and
> Tomorrow.
> >
> > The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what
I
> was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so
> I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St.
> Peter.
> > "How many seconds in a year?"
> >
> > "Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about
that
> and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
> >
> > Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's
> name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
> >
> > Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February
2nd,
> March 2nd. . . ....."
> >
> > "Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with
this,
> and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in
mind.....but
> I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the
third
> and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
> >
> > "Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."
> >
> > "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I
can
> understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
but
> just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first
name
> of God?"
> >
> > "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt
it
> from the song. . . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS
ME
I
> AM HIS OWN. . . ."
> >
> > St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
> >
> > **************
> >
> > Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
> > Give me the grace to see a joke,
> > To get some humor out of life,
> > and pass it on to other folk.

"It's all about the pain, the jewelry and the ink are just souvenirs"


<--Michelle
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 05-13-2004, 04:51 AM
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You gotta love and appreciate the simplicity of it!


<--------Paulette
__________________
Lord,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the fact that I can't pass them all,
The Courage to pass most...
And the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those who refuse to
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!
"Number '69' All the Way!"
"GO NICKY HAYDEN!!!"

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