New policy to get into heaven... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-04-2004, 11:40 AM Thread Starter
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New policy to get into heaven...

It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to
change the admittance policy.

The new law was that, in order to get into heaven, you had to have
a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect
at noon the next day.

The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to the gates of

The angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly says
to the man, 'Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day
was going when you died.'

'No problem,' the man says. 'I came home to my 25th floor
apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked and appearing
to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I
immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I
searched the entire apartment.

Just as I was about to giveup, I happened to glance out onto the
balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
fingertips! The nerve of that guy!

'Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until
he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some
trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked
me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first
thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the
first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed
it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great
that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.'

The angel sits back and thinks for a moment. Technically, the guy
did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the angel

'OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and lets him in.

A few seconds later the next guy comes up.

'Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was
like when you died.'

The man says, 'No problem. But you're not going to believe this.
I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away,
slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! 'Luckily, I was able to
catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of
a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts
cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well of course I fell. I hit some
trees and bushes at the bottom that broke my fall so I didn't die
right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to
move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator
of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on
top of me, killing me instantly.'

The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his
story. 'I could get used to this new policy,' he thinks to himself.
'Very well,' the angel announces, 'welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,'
and he lets the man enter.

A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel
is warming up to his task.

'OK, please tell me what it was like the day you died.'

The man says, 'OK, picture this. I'm naked inside this refrigerator...

<-------- Jeff

Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-04-2004, 11:45 AM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
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that was great!!


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2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-05-2004, 09:00 PM
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-07-2004, 04:06 PM
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good one.... i almost skipped it thinking it was kinda long
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-07-2004, 04:10 PM
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