"Wal Mart" - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 10:49 AM Thread Starter
"Busa County USA"
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bellwood, Illinois
Posts: 118
Location: Bellwood, Illinois
Sportbike: '02 LE 'busa
Years Riding: 30 yrs... and counting!!!
How you found us: met someone at Illinois Harley on a Katana... He was test riding a buell.
      
"Wal Mart"

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
urine sample, and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... it's a lot cheaper
than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it
toWal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid repetitive activity. It will
improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,
a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for
good measure. Jack hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener - Aisle 16.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo - Aisle 23.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

It's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it... http://www.myspace.com/blk_365
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 10:52 AM
bwa
Boom
 
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Kalispell, MT
Posts: 13,320
Location: Kalispell, MT
Sportbike: None :(
Years Riding: not long enough
How you found us: Crazeinc
           
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 10:59 AM
Newb Extradonaire
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Woodstock
Posts: 39
Location: Woodstock
Sportbike: 2002 GSF600S Bandit
Years Riding: WIth or Without my Training Wheels?
How you found us: friend
 
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 11:14 AM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Apopka, Florida
Posts: 22,652
Location: Apopka, Florida
Sportbike: Ducati
Years Riding: 3 days
How you found us: unemployment office
           
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Quote:
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
that will never happen

-Mopar

1997 Dodge Viper GTS
2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 11:41 AM
Not too Slow Not too Fast
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Bensenville, IL
Posts: 1,634
Location: Bensenville, IL
Sportbike: 2003 Aprilia Falco
Years Riding: Too many
How you found us: ApriliaForum.com
           
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 11:45 AM
Grammaton Cleric
 
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: BER!-Wyn, IL
Posts: 1,842
Location: BER!-Wyn, IL
Sportbike: 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa LE
Years Riding: Since 07-01-2001
How you found us: Google, I believe
      
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That is to funny!

-- Matthew --

"I'm just a simple man trying to make his way in the Universe" - Jango Fett
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-15-2004, 01:35 PM
Wheelie Rider
 
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Janesville, WI
Posts: 1,225
Location: Janesville, WI
Sportbike: A couple
Years Riding: 12
How you found us: Internet search
   
That is great!
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-17-2004, 05:59 AM
CLSB SoCal Chapter
 
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mira Mesa Starbucks in San Diego,CA
Posts: 2,682
Location: Mira Mesa Starbucks in San Diego,CA
Sportbike: 2004 Red Kawasaki ZZR 600
Years Riding: since 2004
How you found us: My hubby Shane aka "Nickyfan"
           

<--------Paulette
__________________
Lord,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the fact that I can't pass them all,
The Courage to pass most...
And the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those who refuse to
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!
"Number '69' All the Way!"
"GO NICKY HAYDEN!!!"

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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-17-2004, 08:32 AM
Awara 1
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Burbz
Posts: 283
Location: Burbz
Sportbike: 01 Yzf R1
Years Riding: 4
           
Too Funny

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-17-2004, 08:34 AM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Posts: 17,774
Location: Cruising Around Enjoying Life!!
Sportbike: 09 Night Rod Black Denim
Years Riding: Not Long Enuff!!!!
How you found us: Friends
           


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-17-2004, 09:02 AM
Social Events Goddess
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Glendale Heights, IL
Posts: 3,594
Location: Glendale Heights, IL
Sportbike: without currently
Years Riding: Long enough to know better, not long enough to stop
How you found us: member
           
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