Subject: President to be Outsourced - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 07-22-2004, 10:48 AM Thread Starter
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Talking Subject: President to be Outsourced

Washington D.C. -- Congress today announced that the Office of
President of the United States will be outsourced to overseas as
of June 30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made
to save $400K a year in salary, a record $521 Billion in deficit
expenditures and related overhead.

"The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam
Smith (D - Wash) who, with the aid Congress research arm, the
General Accounting Office has studied outsourcing of American jobs
extensively.

"We simply can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain
competitive in the world stage," Congressman Smith said. Exporting
American jobs has been a popular trend lately, ironically at the
urging of President Bush.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of
his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary
until his final day of employment. After that, with a two week
waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240 dollars a week
from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will
not be able to receive state Medicaid health insurance coverage as
his unemployment benefits are over the required limit.

"I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought for sure I'd have some
job security around this here place. I have no idea what I'll do
now," he further lamented.

Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will
be assuming the Office of President of the United States as of
July 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his
parents were here on student visas, thus making him eligible for
the position. He will receive a salary of $320 USD a month but
with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time
difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working
primarily at night, when offices of the US Government will be
open.

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an
exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job
at the American Express call center. I always knew I could be
President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A
Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a
script tree to follow which will allow him to respond to most
topics of concern.

The Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be
realized as these scripting tools have already been used
previously by Mr. Bush here in the US. Such scripts will enable
Mr. Singh to provide an answer without having to fully understand
the issue itself."

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities
including that of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.

Jon
MSF Instructor


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