Male/Female humor. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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Talking Male/Female humor.



THINGY (thing-ee) n.
> Female......Any part under a car's hood.
> Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
>
> 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
> Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
> Male........Playing football without a cup.
>
> 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
> Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
> Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
>
> 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
> Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
> Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
> girlfriend.
>
> 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
> Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
> Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.
>
> 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
> Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
> Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement male bonding.
>
> 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
> Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
> Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
>
> 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-mohtkon-trohl) n.
> Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
> Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 10:54 AM
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and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:00 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rachael927
and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded

It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:02 AM
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funny..

Where can i get a nice matched pair of Busa's???

Just a boostedV6 for now.....
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy

It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.
Sorry i'm just a natural male basher

www.sportbikechick.net

*"Don't play with fireworks, you'll lose good riding time"
*What don't kill you only makes you stronger.
*Life is to short to exist at only one level at a time.
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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rachael927


Sorry i'm just a natural male basher
OK all forgiven.

pssst: most of us deserve to be bashed.

did I say that outloud....me and my big mouth

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:09 AM
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Re: Male/Female humor.

Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
> 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
I guess I'm a like a guy then, I don't want that first horrible thing mentioned

Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-mohtkon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
I love channel flipping and watching 3 or 4 shows at a time. There's always something better on.
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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rachael927
and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded
We aren't retarted..we are just VERY simple minded.

Chris

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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy


pssst: most of us deserve to be bashed.
GASP!! You traitor!!!

Sean
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Property of Evil Monkey Racing
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GroverSV650S
We aren't retarted..we are just VERY simple minded.

Chris
oh I'm quoting on that for proof to every male I encounter. One of their own has said it
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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:13 AM
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SCIENCE FICTION GEEK PICKUP LINES
- "Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning.'"

- "I can't help it -- my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!!"

- "Nice Asimov."

- "Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody."

- "Earth woman, prepare to be probed!"

- "I'm the droid you're looking for."

- "Is that a spare Vulcan ear in your pocket or... well, I'm just asking because some jerk in the parking lot pulled off one of my Vulcan ears."

- "Hey, baby. I own Microsoft."

- "Your mouth says, 'Shields up!', but your eyes say, 'A hull breach is imminent.'"

- "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you watch me masturbate while I download pictures of Jeri Ryan?"

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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 11:47 AM
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TOP 15 EUPHEMISMS FOR IMPOTENCE
15. 180 degrees shy of heaven

14. Performing with Flacido Domingo

13. A few parts shy of an erector set

12. Sch-wing and a miss

11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense

10. The Null Monte

9. Disappointing Miss Daisy

8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics

7. Ascension Deficit Disorder

6. Bouncing the Check of Love

5. Less-than-Magic Johnson

4. All Doled up with nowhere to go

3. Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You

2. Serving boneless pork

1. Unleavened Man-Bread

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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy

pssst: most of us deserve to be bashed.
did I say that outloud....me and my big mouth
yes i have to agree that MOST deserve to be bashed

Quote:
We aren't retarted..we are just VERY simple minded.
Hey i didn't say there was anything wrong w/ being simple minded

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*"Don't play with fireworks, you'll lose good riding time"
*What don't kill you only makes you stronger.
*Life is to short to exist at only one level at a time.
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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rachael927
and ppl wonder why i think guys are retarded
ditto

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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 01:04 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by VIVID1
ditto
Sigh.......

once again:
It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 01:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy
Sigh.......

once again:
It was meant for a laugh....not male bashing.
I wasn't, Grover was I was just quoting him. Men are funny creatures.



Psssst....I know not all men are bad....just the ones I happen are find are
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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 01:49 PM
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Yes we are funny creatures. Not as complex as women tho.

Life is too short to ride anything but an R1

In memory of FastBlueR1...RIP

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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 02:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by TerminatorR1
Yes we are funny creatures. Not as complex as women tho.
we're not complex....we just think alot!
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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 03:09 PM
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Got this from a friend of mine out west. She thought it was funny. Fits the theme of this thread.


The following ad in the Atlanta journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Scottish Terrier> > MEN ARE SO EASY!

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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GroverSV650S
Got this from a friend of mine out west. She thought it was funny. Fits the theme of this thread.


The following ad in the Atlanta journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Scottish Terrier> > MEN ARE SO EASY!
I read about that a while ago and thought that was hilarious.

Good one!
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-16-2002, 09:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by BABETTE


we're not complex....we just think alot!

Now that IS funny

How do you turn this thing on?
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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 05-07-2004, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Grover
Got this from a friend of mine out west. She thought it was funny. Fits the theme of this thread.


The following ad in the Atlanta journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Scottish Terrier> > MEN ARE SO EASY!
Too Funny!!

<--Kelly

.

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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 05-07-2004, 02:46 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Labdog
Too Funny!!

HOLY thread resurection batman!!!

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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 05-07-2004, 02:49 PM
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 05-07-2004, 06:04 PM
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Can you tell i was bored at work today?

I needed a good laugh!

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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 05-10-2004, 12:59 PM
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<--------Paulette
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Grant me the Serenity to accept the fact that I can't pass them all,
The Courage to pass most...
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GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!
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