Blonde Jokes - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 12:53 PM Thread Starter
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Blonde Jokes

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

EXPOSURE

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down and says, "OH MY GOSH, I left the baby on the bus again!"



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and hook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answers after each toss. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 01:04 PM
SICK OF IT ALL
 
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those are great

Wayne


Standing together
Side by side
Staying true to what’s inside
United as one, we fight

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 01:08 PM
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Good ones, Pete.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 01:19 PM
B.O.B
 
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Thank's for the laugh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 01:40 PM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 01:50 PM
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Oh man "The River" was the funniest i have heard in a LONG time!!

<--Kelly

.

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 02:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Labdog
Oh man "The River" was the funniest i have heard in a LONG time!!

hah just what i was thinking. so should we all go to the riverwalk in naperville tonight? maybe we can find her

<--- I'm Chuckie...Wanna Plaaaay???

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 02:10 PM
Rev
i need a new bike, this one is trashed
 
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Re: Blonde Jokes

Quote:
Originally posted by Champ91

EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down and says, "OH MY GOSH, I left the baby on the bus again!"
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-11-2004, 02:31 PM
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good jokes

for sale at www. itakem2.com
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