Vodka - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-14-2004, 05:53 PM Thread Starter
MoparBoyy is my Hero!
 
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Springfield, Oregon (THE WEST COAST)
Posts: 40
Location: Springfield, Oregon (THE WEST COAST)
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Talking Vodka

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1 Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later. But whether it's in pleasure or fear is up to you.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-14-2004, 05:54 PM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Apopka, Florida
Posts: 22,652
Location: Apopka, Florida
Sportbike: Ducati
Years Riding: 3 days
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that is FUNNY!!!!!!!!

-Mopar

1997 Dodge Viper GTS
2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-14-2004, 06:40 PM
Rev
i need a new bike, this one is trashed
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Schaumburg
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Location: Schaumburg
Sportbike: 04 Gix, 03 RVT1000R RC51
Years Riding: 2 years
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Good one
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