This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was
"Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick
Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin
patch at 11:38p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the
Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he
decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he
stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to
the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to
his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I
was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said Officer Taylor. "I walked up (to Lawrence) and he's...just working away
at this pumpkin. "Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence." I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that
you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised
that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"