Best Come back ever! (THIS IS FUNNY!) - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 02:30 PM Thread Starter
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Best Come back ever! (THIS IS FUNNY!)

This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was
"Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick
Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin
patch at 11:38p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the
Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he
decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he
stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to
the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to
his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I
was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said Officer Taylor. "I walked up (to Lawrence) and he's...just working away
at this pumpkin. "Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence." I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that
you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised
that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

"I pity the poor people who don't ride motorcycles"
-Malcolm Smith, champion motorcycle racer

Nick
STT Staff
Midwest Division
www.sportbiketracktime.com
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 02:41 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Bwahh!! But wait...the carriage is the thing that turned back into a pumpkin, not the princess. Still hilarious though.

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

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Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 02:45 PM
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LOL. Too funny!

But, the best comeback ever will be the Boston Sox, if they win tonight.

-- Matthew --

"I'm just a simple man trying to make his way in the Universe" - Jango Fett
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 02:46 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBusa
But, the best comeback ever will be the Boston Sox, if they win tonight.
Haha That is what I thought the thread was about before opening it. Go Sox

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 02:48 PM
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!1! ROTFLMAO!!!!!

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 02:54 PM
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This from SNOPES.com http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/pumpkin.htm

"This tale of one man's lust for a gourd hit the Internet in July 1998, entering cyberspace via Microsoft-specific newsgroups and titled "Comeback of the Century." Although this story has also spread in versions identified as a Reuters news article and contains some specifics, it is merely a fanciful bit of apocrypha: the details are vague, the names mentioned don't show up in news databases, and the style and punctuation are all wrong for a legitimate news article. By 2000, the same piece was circulating headed by the claim that it had been harvested from the Washington Post.

As well, anyone who has ever carved a jack-o-lantern can attest to the implausibility of this bit of humor pumpkins may be "soft and squishy" inside, but they're also mostly hollow. If you're looking for a sexual partner, there are several fruits out there that would serve you much better. And the fictional Mr. Davidson should brush up on his fairy tales: It isn't Cinderella who turns into a pumpkin at midnight, but her coach.

With a sense of direction like that, if Malcolm had a wife, it's no wonder he couldn't keep her.

Although 1998's Malcolm Davidson and his "Is it midnight already" line were wholly fictional, the key element of this tale did play out in real life at least once. In September 2002, Bill Patton of Macomb, Michigan, was sentenced to ninety days in the hoosegow for indecent exposure stemming from a 2000 incident during which neighbors saw him masturbate in his back yard then saw him through his basement window pleasuring himself with a pumpkin. His crime lay in being seen one is allowed to love vegetables as much as one wants, provided one doesn't do it in public. "

<-------- Jeff


Hey baby! You ever been on the back of an expensive sportbike??


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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2004, 03:50 PM
Rev
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirate
Unbelievable ... Too good of a comeback to be true
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