13 Reasons to Smile - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 10-29-2004, 10:25 PM Thread Starter
To Punish and Enslave
 
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Location: Rockridge
Posts: 3,952
Location: Rockridge
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Years Riding: 25
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13 Reasons to Smile

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into
my
own pants.








Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.



I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.






How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and 50 for Miss America?



A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
friend
will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"






I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in
the first place!



When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky
dunk."






Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference.



Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!






Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can
in prison?



Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.






Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
Commandments
cannot be displayed in a federal building?



Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in
English,
thank a soldier !!"

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"- Benjamin Franklin

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook View Post
hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 10-29-2004, 11:46 PM
Ride Red, DO WORK SON!!
 
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Illinois (Joliet)
Posts: 4,666
Location: Illinois (Joliet)
Sportbike: Rockets & Harleys
Years Riding: Me love you long time
How you found us: CLSB DECAL
           
Good ones Jimbo!!

***Ashwin RIP Brotha you will be missed***




www.dcdecals.net www.firespeed.com


Life's Journey Is Not To Arrive At The Grave Safely In A Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Totally Worn Out, Shouting "HOLY SHIT... What A Ride!"

All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never under estimate your opponent (mentality). Expect the unexpected (could work out in your favor). Two, take it outside(or to a table). Never start anything inside the Bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.



Turning Shit into Sugar!!
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