something to offend everyrone - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-13-2005, 07:00 PM Thread Starter
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something to offend everyrone

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!]
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of
the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp
knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year,
the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same
urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have
cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the
pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you
sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same
DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have
eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They
named him "Sum Ting Wong
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other? A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast? They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A
southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get
another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon * a * time... - A
* southern fa irytale * begins "Y'all ain't * gonna * believe
* this * shit... Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

__________________________________________________ _____
this thread is not intended to offend any specific race or nationality... just roll with the punches folks

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-13-2005, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2weelpilot
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!]



What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of
the dirt bag


HaHaHa.... Goood Stuff!

2005 Harley Night Train
2001 Golf GTI VR6 - Super Charged-Intercooler, Nitrous = 305 HP... stage 4 to come soon! .. can you say 400? HP? in a Go Kart!
1999 Ford SVT Lightning - Super Charged @ 600 ponies

Yea I am compensating..



Gregg
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-13-2005, 07:44 PM
Joe Momma...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2weelpilot
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



I thought the hoover was funny too, but didnt' want to be redundant......

My name is JB, people call me JB

Quote:
Originally Posted by flinchy
"I wouldn't be surprised to see this guy catch a pass with his ass cheeks"
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-13-2005, 08:20 PM
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,145
      
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2weelpilot
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!]


What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A
southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".
LMFAO!!!!!!
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