Why I fired my secretary - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2005, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Spring Grove, IL
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Location: Spring Grove, IL
Sportbike: yz250f
Years Riding: 25 years
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Why I fired my secretary

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that
morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy
Birthday!", and probably would have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy
birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will
remember..

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left
for
the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss.
Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.

I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know,
it's
such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch,
just
you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. "Let's
go!"
We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little

place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful
day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think
I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying
a
huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our
friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there ----on the couch ---- naked.

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2005, 09:19 PM Thread Starter
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Years Riding: 25 years
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A lesson for all Guys!!

Ok, so after dating my girlfriend for several months i finally decided to pop the question. She was estatic and directly afterwards we flew to Miami so i could meet her parents. After meeting her parents the ¨little sister¨ came in. She had long blonde hair, huge breasts, a butt to die for, and was tanned to perfection. Over the next few weeks of planning the wedding whenever the sister was in the same room as me she would bend over giving me a view of the goods. She would always be wearing skimpy clothes, give me those extra long hugs, all the signs that she wanted me. Anyways, one night she calls me and says she needs help at the house for choosing the flowers. I said ok and drove over. When she answered the door she had on a little skirt with her butt hanging out and such a tight shirt her breasts threatened to pop out. After looking at several pictures of flowers she moved next to me and began to rub my leg. After a few more minutes she leaned into me and wispered, ¨I want you sooooo bad. Lets go up to my room and !#%? like there´s no tomorrow.¨She then got up from the couch, walked up the stairs, and at the top of the flight slid off her thong and threw it down at me before going to the bedroom. I got up instantly and went outside to my car. However, on the portch was her father, crying his eyes out. He said he was so glad that I had passed their ¨little test¨ and was welcome into the family forever.

Moral of this story: always keep your condoms in the car.

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2005, 09:37 PM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Carpentersville
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Years Riding: Longer than most of you have been alive. And I'm still slow.
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I used to keep emergency rubbers in the trunk.


There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2005, 09:43 PM
 
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LOL umm keeping rubbers in the car is one of the dumbest things you can do with rubbers! if you know the car gets hot and cold well so do the rubbers, and when they get hot they get holes in them and actually make it more possible for a rubber to be ineffective
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2005, 10:14 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Carpentersville
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Location: Carpentersville
Sportbike: 2000 929
Years Riding: Longer than most of you have been alive. And I'm still slow.
How you found us: The voices in my head told me to come here
           
What and wadded up in a wallet like I did as a kid is better?

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2005, 10:33 PM
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