couple more funnies!!!
Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar
around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared
up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a
story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says,"You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the
guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, >saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this
earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think
he'd do it again."
Homer took the money.......
An old retired Navy sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the
docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her
up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age. The
old Navy sailor asks, "How am I doing?"
The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."
"Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?"
She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused
her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees
that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her
The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl. The
babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor answers. The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful
name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise."
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."
LADY AND THE PHARMACIST
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds
of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a
picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !