Flippin women off - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-09-2005, 11:19 PM Thread Starter
bwa
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Flippin women off

From some riders journal thingy, freakin hilarious IMO

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and made a nasty sign with his middle finger at the woman

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why

I ride 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has P. M. S . That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that Every Single Day, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem,
has seriously considered homicide, has P.M.S. and is armed

Flip one off? ... I think not
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-10-2005, 05:22 AM
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good one Jay Right up there with the t-shirt "I have PMS and a handgun! Any questions?"

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-10-2005, 07:27 AM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-10-2005, 01:17 PM
 
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Thats fucking hilarious!! I love it!
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-10-2005, 02:33 PM
 
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You should publish that in the Trib. You'd probably get a column.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-10-2005, 04:35 PM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Blonde
Thats fucking hilarious!! I love it!
of course you do
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-10-2005, 04:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag
of course you do
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-11-2005, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag
of course you do

yeah, of course she does because unlike some on here (cough ill_ag cough) Texas Blonde has a sense of humor.




BTW, good post, Jay.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-11-2005, 12:51 PM
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Thats awesome

Ask me ill tell you...........anything I wanna hear

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David you are remembered
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