dead cat? i got this - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 05:30 PM Thread Starter
 
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dead cat? i got this

My friend was watching a mutual friend's cat while he was on vacation. Before he left, he warned that the cat was old (21 years old), and not doing so hot. He suspected that he was ready to die. Sure enough, the cat died on the last day of vacation. My friend asked me how he should tell him. I gave him these options to break the news.

1) "I've got good news and i've got bad news. Bad news is, your cat's dead. The good news is that I saved a lot on my car insurance."

2) "Hey, you're out of milk, the chips are stale, your cats dead, and the light bulb in the bathroom needs to be changed."

3) (when they walk into the apartment) *sniff* *sniff* "You smell dead cat??"

4) Leave a suicide note next to the cat with a finished bag of catnip mentioning how boring the sitter was.

5) "Are you still interested in those taxidermy classes?"

6) Get rid of the cat, draw a chalk out line, put up police tape all over the place, and act stupid.

7) "Will everyone with a live cat please step forward.....not so fast buddy."

8) "You have a couple messages: your mom called, she wants you to call her back; your landlord said the rent is late; your cat said 'bye'."

9) (when he picks him up from the airport)
sitter: Let's play a game....Dead or human?
owner: huh? ok.
sitter: you ?
owner: human
sitter: me ?
owner: human
sitter: your cat?
owner: huh ?!?!?

10) owner: Thanks for watching the place. where are my keys ?
sitter: Oh, they're under your dead cat.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 05:46 PM
stuck in 6th gear
 
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. two zingers in a row
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernie
. two zingers in a row
Agreed. This one had me laughing.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 06:36 PM
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 07:06 PM
 
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Quote:
7) "Will everyone with a live cat please step forward.....not so fast buddy."
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-09-2005, 07:43 PM
Make my day!!!!!
 
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I LIKED 6 AND 7 THE BEST

Living life! Because before you know it it is over!

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 07:40 AM
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i thought 2, 4, and 6 were the best

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 08:24 AM
 
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-10-2005, 08:48 AM
a.k.a. jetski,pulaski,...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bignate18
7) "Will everyone with a live cat please step forward.....not so fast buddy."
For some reason i am picturing this set to "will the real slim shady please stand up"

makes it even funnier!

<-- Brian
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