Only in America! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
2weelpilot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Posts: 18,082
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Sportbike: yz250f
Years Riding: 25 years
How you found us: dont recall
           
Only in America!

ONLY IN AMERICA:

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!



Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.



Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



EVER WONDER .



Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?



Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?



Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?



Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!



Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
2weelpilot is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 11:25 AM
bwa
Boom
 
bwa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Kalispell, MT
Posts: 13,320
Location: Kalispell, MT
Sportbike: None :(
Years Riding: not long enough
How you found us: Crazeinc
           
good ass post.
bwa is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 12:30 PM
FastVinyl.com
 
XLR8R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Suburbia?
Posts: 118
Location: Suburbia?
Sportbike: 83 Suzuki GS850
Years Riding: 4
How you found us: BWA
 
Send a message via AIM to XLR8R
Quote:
Originally Posted by bwa
good ass post.
+1

"Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? " and why not the flies too!?



-

---John---
If my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN!!

FastVinyl Forum on CLSB Click Me
XLR8R is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 12:41 PM
Registered User
 
RSV4win's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NW
Posts: 1,724
Location: NW
Sportbike: 2002
Years Riding: 5
How you found us: sbn- ran into 20bikes riding
         
only in america

http://www.navistar.com/site_layout/XTFamily/cxt.asp <


International CxT Pick-up The Hummer dwarfer.

I just stopped by a dealer by work to check this out.

Tires as large as an 18 wheeler, (maybe 2" shorter).

Looks like it had a flip down TV player in the roof.

Insane

**************
Here is the Hummer competitor, 4x4 3 TV screens. seats w/ full harnesses. check out the 360' tour.

Last edited by RSV4win; 05-23-2005 at 04:10 PM.
RSV4win is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 12:49 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
2weelpilot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Posts: 18,082
Location: Spring Grove, IL
Sportbike: yz250f
Years Riding: 25 years
How you found us: dont recall
           
I saw a truck similar to that in Omaha last year. I was in shock when it pulled under the drop off area at the front of the hotel Then, 2 li'l cowgirls climb out of the cab. They pulled their rodeo horse trailer with it They thought they had large stones cause everyone was stairing at them

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
2weelpilot is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 01:26 PM
Registered User
 
Kruz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: West of 59, North of 88
Posts: 18,885
Location: West of 59, North of 88
Sportbike: 05 CRF50
Years Riding: "Since 1992"
How you found us: You found me
           
Regular coke tastes way too sugary...
Kruz is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 01:35 PM
bwa
Boom
 
bwa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Kalispell, MT
Posts: 13,320
Location: Kalispell, MT
Sportbike: None :(
Years Riding: not long enough
How you found us: Crazeinc
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jughead
http://www.navistar.com/site_layout/XTFamily/cxt.asp

International CxT Pick-up The Hummer dwarfer.

I just stopped by a dealer by work to check this out.

Tires as large as an 18 wheeler, (maybe 2" shorter).

Looks like it had a flip down TV player in the roof.

Insane
totally awesome, yet totally unnecessary
bwa is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 02:12 PM
I'm a blessed man
 
ronhix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 3,707
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: GSXR 1000
Years Riding: not long enough
How you found us: Sportbikes.net
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruz
Regular coke tastes way too sugary...

Ron Hix
MTD CR #975
ronhix is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-23-2005, 06:26 PM
Wheelie Rider
 
Schiernbeck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Janesville, WI
Posts: 1,225
Location: Janesville, WI
Sportbike: A couple
Years Riding: 12
How you found us: Internet search
   
Schiernbeck is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome