Dear god, from the dog - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-22-2005, 11:13 AM Thread Starter
The Victim Newbie
 
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Dear god, from the dog

DEAR GOD: FROM THE DOG

To: GOD

From: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle?"

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electrom! agnetic energy
fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog...
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. - just because I
like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches i! n for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when we have company.
16. The cat's not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question . . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-22-2005, 07:16 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
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#16 and the last one! Those are great!

<----Jeff
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-22-2005, 07:20 PM
Enjoying Life!!
 
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later!!
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-23-2005, 06:38 AM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
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...good stuff

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-23-2005, 07:15 AM
YO MAMA
 
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so true!



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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-23-2005, 09:26 AM
BSB > WSBK > MotoGP
 
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cute

Jeff
NESBA #311
'02 GSXR600
'98
Smokin' Joe's F3
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