problems with the ATM? - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 11:07 PM Thread Starter
I want my two dollars...
 
yamaweezle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: clinton, ia
Posts: 1,145
Location: clinton, ia
Sportbike: 2004 yamaha r1, 2006 yamaha roadstar warrior
Years Riding: 8 years
How you found us: a member, zeus-9R
      
Send a message via Yahoo to yamaweezle
problems with the ATM?

someone posted this on a local message board...i got a chuckle out of it...


A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing a new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."



MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
the
machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive
distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
slot
provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.


Matt
NESBA #347 "I"
2004 YAMAHA R1
2006 Roadstar Warrior

Last edited by yamaweezle; 08-09-2005 at 11:09 PM.
yamaweezle is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 11:20 PM
Super Moderator

 
Vcook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Winfield
Posts: 43,230
Location: Winfield
Sportbike: bikeless
Years Riding: 10
How you found us: Shit, you know I'm a clsb OG!
           
Send a message via AIM to Vcook
haha, ATM. I thought this thread would be about something completely different.

Chris
Vcook is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 01:03 AM
i need a new bike, this one is trashed
 
ashwingop's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Streamwood
Posts: 2,485
Location: Streamwood
Sportbike: Yammies
Years Riding: A few
How you found us: fellow rider
           
That is so true
ashwingop is offline  
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 05:52 AM
M109R
 
jibaro69's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Melrose Park
Posts: 562
Location: Melrose Park
Sportbike: 07 Suzuki Boulevard M109R
Years Riding: 6
How you found us: ??
  
OMG that is so true its really (sad) funny

How do you turn this thing on?
jibaro69 is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 07:15 AM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
RickC1957's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Barrington, Illinois
Posts: 12,731
Location: Barrington, Illinois
Sportbike: Ducati ST3 2005 Gloss Black, Monster 620, 2007 Sport Classic 1000
Years Riding: Crashing sucessfully since 1969
How you found us: Thru favorednation (ron)
           
Send a message via AIM to RickC1957 Send a message via Yahoo to RickC1957
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashwingop
That is so true
Not so, my wifey sends me to the ATM to get her cash, or she just takes it out of my pockets

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
RickC1957 is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 08:01 AM
__________
 
Dirtbiker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Somewhere else.
Posts: 6,365
Location: Somewhere else.
Sportbike: Resurrection Built YZ250F, Various European Junk
Years Riding: Yes
How you found us: SBN
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by RickC1957
Not so, my wifey sends me to the ATM to get her cash, or she just takes it out of my pockets

+1

I sleep with my wallet under my pillow.....
Dirtbiker is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 08:26 AM
The Victim Newbie
 
clearwaterms's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Westchester, IL
Posts: 7,384
Location: Westchester, IL
Sportbike: 2007 mountain bike
Years Riding: just started
How you found us: svrider.com
           
Send a message via AIM to clearwaterms Send a message via MSN to clearwaterms Send a message via Yahoo to clearwaterms
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
haha, ATM. I thought this thread would be about something completely different.

ATM, dude get your mind out of the gutter... I have a feeling alot of people have NO idea what you are referring to

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
clearwaterms is offline  
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 07:47 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
Honda4Ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,544
Location: New Mexico
Sportbike: Boo-Boo('02 Black/Yellow F4i)
Years Riding: 3
How you found us: My brother is on here.
    
Send a message via Yahoo to Honda4Ever

<----Jeff
Honda4Ever is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome