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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 11:44 AM Thread Starter
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Wedding invitation

Wedding Invitation
By: Steve Kiley



Great news! I got engaged! I know crazy, right? I want you to come to my wedding buddy. It's in like a year. It's going to be great. I want you and your lovely girlfriend to come. The bar will be open my friend. You want the chicken or the steak?

Since we're pretty tight, I want you to be in the wedding. I want you to be a part of what will be an awesome day, my friend.

Me and the fiancée (its sooo weird saying that word!) have lots of planning to do and we've set dates for just about everything so there are a few things we need to discuss.

The engagement party will be next month. It's going to be awesome! It's only a two and a half hour drive for you, and it's gonna be a sick time. You might want to grab a hotel room for that night. Please, no gifts. We're registered at Macy's, Crate & Barrel and Sears.

There will be three showers in the months ahead. Her family's, my family's and her friends. You're obviously excused from those buddy, but it would be awesome if your girlfriend could make an appearance at all of them. Except we will want you to come to the Jack and Jill party. We don't expect any gifts from you guys, but, again we are registered, and if you guys want to kick in for one or two of the showers that'd be great!

I hope your girlfriend can make it to the Bachelorette party. The gals are heading down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras!

As for the Bachelor party, I was hoping you could put that together. I am definitely thinking Vegas. Maybe the Palms, I don't know. I hear the Real World suite is pretty sweet! Surprise me!

I already found a great deal on some awesome tuxedo's. They are only $250 each, just as long as we have them back by 6 a.m. the day after the wedding.

The rehearsal dinner will be the night before the wedding. The rehearsal will be a few hours... My fiancée is Greek Orthodox, so there is a lot of crazy Greek stuff to go over! They do everything three times. It so weird, and takes so long. Very interesting stuff!

This wedding will consume 292 hrs of your life
The church is so cool! It's really rustic. It was built like two hundred years ago. It's so amazing! It's definitely not air conditioned so wear something light. Wait, strike that, you'll be in a black wool tuxedo! What was I thinking?

The ceremony will only be about two hours. Two of the best hours of your life my friend!

Then the party will commence! After the pictures of course. We have the best wedding photographer! She is kind of a perfectionist. She is very meticulous, but the best things come to those who wait! Right?

The reception is going to be sick! By the time we are done taking pictures, we should have a good solid hour or two to get introduced, have our dances, do the speeches and toasts, eat some apps, salad, soup, main course a little drinky or seven, and then the cake. It's going to be the best wedding ever!

My brother, who's the best man has a huge fear of speaking in public. Can you do the best man speach? Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Don't go out of your way though. Ten, twelve minutes tops, ok? And I'll just need to proofread it first. And I'll help you with your timing.

You're probably going to need a hotel room for the weekend, on account of the brunch the morning after. I would return your tux first then be back for the 8 a.m. brunch. You'll probably need a hotel room for the entire weekend. You will absolutely love the rooms there, they are super luxurious!

Unless you have family down there. I doubt you have family in Antigua though. Let me tell you my friend, you are going to see plenty of that island! The tux place, the church and the hotel are spread out all over the place! Airplane tickets are actually pretty cheap right now, and I've seen a few with only two or more layovers. Pack some extra clothes, because it will be hurricane season down there, just in case we all get stuck for a week or so!

and approx $8,713.12
I need to ask you what you want as a gift from the groom (me!) I was thinking maybe a pen. Do you have a good pen? Not a great pen but decent one anyway. Do you have a pen that works?

Send your RSVP back as soon as possible, because if you guys can't make it, I need to get someone from the "B" list. We need asses in seats! I'm so happy for us!

Come celebrate with us at all of our celebrations over the next 12 months!




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 11:50 AM
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why not just link us to the original?


http://www.thephatphree.com/features...0&SectionID=11

Chris
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 11:53 AM
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Dude, you're a good friend, but I aint takin out a second mortgage for someone elses wedding, especially since the chick you're marrying is a skank, and you'll probably be divorced in a year. Go "pull" from your "B" list.

Aint it the truth. I had a guy ask me to stand up at his wedding(he musta had NO friends, cause I barely knew him) I told him I was uncomfortable with it cause I barely knew him, and he went off all half-cocked..........be careful who your nice too.

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 11:54 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
why not just link us to the original?


http://www.thephatphree.com/features...0&SectionID=11
Because things move and then in 6 months I have people posting that my link is dead because they were trollingthorugh old threads




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 11:56 AM
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I am so fucking sick of weddings! I bet I've spent $2500 on weddings in the last two years.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 12:16 PM
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 12:26 PM
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:07 PM
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Marriage, the gift that gives on taking.

(Go to the traffic section, and you'll see why I'm not enamoured with my wife at the moment).
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slycer
(Go to the traffic section, and you'll see why I'm not enamoured with my wife at the moment).
Ha!, and women, well, my wife anyway, love to play the martyr.

"Its YOUR fault I got a DUI, you drive me to drink!"

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:17 PM
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I've been in way to many weddings, always thought they were nice and not to much trouble cuz all I had to do was get a dress, shoes and show up...planning is way harder!! Can't wait til 4/1/06 for all the hard work to pay off!

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:23 PM
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I'm an usher in two weddings over the next 2 months. All I had to do was get measured for the tux.

When I'm ushering ladies in, can I grab their ass?

NESBA/CCS #142
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grover
I'm an usher in two weddings over the next 2 months. All I had to do was get measured for the tux.

When I'm ushering ladies in, can I grab their ass?

Yeah, Chris, you do that. Get yourself a handful.


I've been to three weddings in my adult life. Two of them were mine!

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grover
When I'm ushering ladies in, can I grab their ass?
i think its expected. Aunt Bertha and Grandma Margaret will love it.

Chris
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberry
I've been in way to many weddings, always thought they were nice and not to much trouble cuz all I had to do was get a dress, shoes and show up...planning is way harder!! Can't wait til 4/1/06 for all the hard work to pay off!
you are getting married on april fools day?

<-- Chris

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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
i think its expected. Aunt Bertha and Grandma Margaret will love it.
just remember not to go for the reach around, last thing you want to find out is your walking partner used to be a dude.

<-- Chris

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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
i think its expected. Aunt Bertha and Grandma Margaret will love it.
No, the other usher gets them! I will be in charge of ushering the bride's cute, recently dumped friends.

-Chris

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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-19-2005, 07:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grover
No, the other usher gets them! I will be in charge of ushering the bride's cute, recently dumped friends.

-Chris
Then this wedding will play RIGHT into your hands, women at weddings.

I've been to two weddings in my life, both were fun.

<----Jeff
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