Cop w Radar ! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-02-2005, 07:50 AM Thread Starter
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Cop w Radar !

No Offense to the LEO's out there...just found this funny
=========================================
While I was driving down 95 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have) I passed under a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work".
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well" I said, " I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it's about six feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge.....

Mike

When the tailgate drops..the bullshit stops
Hunt ethically - Hunt with a trained Retriever !
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-02-2005, 08:34 AM
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Ha! I bet that wouldnt go over too well.

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-02-2005, 09:03 AM
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Bad cop... no doughnut!!! Funny!

Ride smart... stupid hurts.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't...

Godspeed 788!!! We miss you!
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-02-2005, 09:39 AM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2weelpilot
No Offense to the LEO's out there...just found this funny
..
Rectum? Damn near killedum!

Sidebar ...
WTF is a Leo anyway? Is it an insinuation that all cops are born between July 23 - Aug 22? Why cannot they just be referred to as police officers, officers or cops? Popo gets on my nerves, and I do not know what that is supposed to mean either ...... it always sounds like we are talking about Michael Jacksons monkey
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-02-2005, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian
WTF is a Leo anyway?
LEO = Law Enforcement Officer - I use it because I'm normally too lazy to type so much

Ride smart... stupid hurts.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't...

Godspeed 788!!! We miss you!
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-03-2005, 08:32 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
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<----Jeff
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-03-2005, 08:55 PM
well i got my knee down BUT, i need a new side panel
 
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Good way to beat a radar ticket is to ask the cop when he had it calibrated the last time. They never can sport a receipt for the calibration.
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