Bush's next speech. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-22-2005, 03:17 PM Thread Starter
King Nothing


 
Kegger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ur Moms House
Posts: 17,944
Location: Ur Moms House
Sportbike: I ride Ur Mom
Years Riding: As long as Ive known Ur Mom
How you found us: u found me
           
Bush's next speech.

Obtained from a reliable source. Dont be hatin'

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin
the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which
have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The
United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that
note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you
down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China..

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the
finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Mexico is on List 2. President Fox and his
entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a
couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am
going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your
oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil
in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to
come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you
to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world
has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you
and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
thank a soldier.

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
Kegger is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-22-2005, 03:20 PM
Pathological Thrill Seekr
 
Deuces's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pedaling my ass off!
Posts: 5,196
Location: Pedaling my ass off!
Sportbike: Trek Marlin
Years Riding: Noob
How you found us: Followed the fast guys
           
Send a message via AIM to Deuces
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
thank a soldier.

So true

Ride smart... stupid hurts.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't...

Godspeed 788!!! We miss you!
Deuces is offline  
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-22-2005, 03:29 PM
Curb your dogma.
 
Phily-D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Plainfield
Posts: 2,410
Location: Plainfield
Sportbike: another Honda:)
Years Riding: little while now....
How you found us: BusaDave
           
If only........

"Cr-Cr-Cr-Crambone!!"
Phily-D is offline  
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-22-2005, 03:30 PM
Grammaton Cleric
 
MrBusa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: BER!-Wyn, IL
Posts: 1,842
Location: BER!-Wyn, IL
Sportbike: 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa LE
Years Riding: Since 07-01-2001
How you found us: Google, I believe
      
Send a message via AIM to MrBusa Send a message via Yahoo to MrBusa
lol...pretty good

-- Matthew --

"I'm just a simple man trying to make his way in the Universe" - Jango Fett
MrBusa is offline  
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-22-2005, 03:31 PM
Take it to da house!!!
 
ComaTose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Plainfield,IL
Posts: 122
Location: Plainfield,IL
Sportbike: NONE YET
Years Riding: none
How you found us: PhilyD
 
Shouldn't this be in the Funny Papers forum?
ComaTose is offline  
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-22-2005, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
King Nothing


 
Kegger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ur Moms House
Posts: 17,944
Location: Ur Moms House
Sportbike: I ride Ur Mom
Years Riding: As long as Ive known Ur Mom
How you found us: u found me
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComaTose
Shouldn't this be in the Funny Papers forum?
Yeah, my bad........MODS?

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
Kegger is offline  
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-23-2005, 06:53 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Lombard
Posts: 26
Location: Lombard
Sportbike: Yamaha Warrior
Years Riding: 5
How you found us: Christian sport bike
 
Wait a minute !!! I am a big soccer fan !!! I dont like it.
Snake is offline  
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-23-2005, 07:06 AM
Registered User
 
Labdog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Roselle, IL
Posts: 9,589
Location: Roselle, IL
Sportbike: 2000 Hayabusa Blue & Silver! Mods-> Oh yeah!
Years Riding: Oh just a couple or so....
How you found us: Old SBN days.......
           
If it were only so easy and simple.

Cant help but think by recalling ALL our military, planes, equipment etc. from foreign countries not a DAMN soul would dare mess with us. Then again it would be a logistical NIGHTMARE!

<--Kelly

.

2000 Hayabusa
2006 Honda CRF50
Labdog is offline  
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-23-2005, 01:48 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
Honda4Ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,544
Location: New Mexico
Sportbike: Boo-Boo('02 Black/Yellow F4i)
Years Riding: 3
How you found us: My brother is on here.
    
Send a message via Yahoo to Honda4Ever
Pretty funny. But, I've been waiting for something like this:

This is "bullshit." If you don't get why I am saying this, don't quote me.

<----Jeff
Honda4Ever is offline  
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-23-2005, 01:58 PM
Russian Rocket
 
Glasuan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Buffalo Grove, IL
Posts: 179
Location: Buffalo Grove, IL
Sportbike: 2002 Triumph Speed 4
Years Riding: August 2005
How you found us: CRR
           
Send a message via AIM to Glasuan Send a message via MSN to Glasuan
Awesome!!!

Mike "Mischa"
2002 Triumph Speed Four
Glasuan is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome