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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-09-2002, 12:09 PM Thread Starter
Evil Moderatrix
 
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Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
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Rofl

In the beginning God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Creme. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And man said "Yea." and woman said, "And another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 2 to size 6.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought running shoes so that his children might loose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and it's 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" and man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And Satan said "It is good." and man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And Satan created HMOs.

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-10-2002, 02:11 PM
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Melrose Park
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Location: Melrose Park
Sportbike: 07 Suzuki Boulevard M109R
Years Riding: 6
How you found us: ??
  
OMG you found the real bible!

How do you turn this thing on?
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-11-2002, 07:32 AM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
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Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
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too funny. The HR guy here got a kick out of it as well.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-11-2002, 09:19 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NW Burbs
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Location: NW Burbs
Sportbike: 2001 Gixxer 600
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Ha! Isn't that the truth!
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