One for the Women! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-10-2002, 02:11 PM Thread Starter
Evil Moderatrix
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Sportbike: A Big Blue One, a threesome of Sexy Red Ones - and a Happy Yellow One!
Years Riding: Quarter century.
How you found us: I was looking for Jimmy Choo's in my shoe closet.
           
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One for the Women!

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-10-2002, 02:19 PM
Everybody to the Limit
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Temperance, MI
Posts: 469
Location: Temperance, MI
Sportbike: 05 GSXR1000
Years Riding: 39
How you found us: Surfing
           
Had to print that out for the wife and Mom-in-law. Pretty damn funny.

http://bikepics.com/members/12rpilot/
R.I.P. Motobeagle
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-10-2002, 02:39 PM
Cuddlie as a koala
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Where GM used to make Tahoes
Posts: 7,509
Location: Where GM used to make Tahoes
Sportbike: Which bike?
Years Riding: Too long.
How you found us: Ken offered me money to join.
           
I see someone might not be racing next year after John sees that.

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-10-2002, 03:15 PM Thread Starter
Evil Moderatrix
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Sportbike: A Big Blue One, a threesome of Sexy Red Ones - and a Happy Yellow One!
Years Riding: Quarter century.
How you found us: I was looking for Jimmy Choo's in my shoe closet.
           
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Quote:
I see someone might not be racing next year after John sees that
You wish!!!!!

Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-11-2002, 08:55 AM
Who's faster Lupi
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
Posts: 4,957
Location: Lake in the Hills, IL
Sportbike: 2004 ZX10R & 2005 CRF50
Years Riding: 20
How you found us: SBN
           
too funny the women around here gettin a kick out of these Kimmy.

NESBA #456 Intermediate
Always 1 step ahead of Lupi. 1:24:7 BHF
And 1 step behind Kimmy

"SoB gets to spend yet ANOTHER season faster than me." -LUPI-
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-11-2002, 08:59 AM
Registered User
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NW Burbs
Posts: 1,084
Location: NW Burbs
Sportbike: 2001 Gixxer 600
Years Riding: Long Enough to know better
 



the sperm and asking for directions is too damn funny!!!!
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