"The Rules" - From a Guy's Perspective Finally! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-03-2005, 12:20 PM Thread Starter
Slow Old Guy.
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SS Barrington
Posts: 17,260
Location: SS Barrington
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Years Riding: Since the beginning of time
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"The Rules" - From a Guy's Perspective Finally!

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down
We need it up, you need it down You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wron g and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or! golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-03-2005, 12:27 PM
Slower Traffic Keep Right
 
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Kenosha, WI
Posts: 3,755
Location: Kenosha, WI
Sportbike: '06 Suzuki GSXR-750 (Track); '11 HD Electra Glide (Road Sofa)
Years Riding: 30+ yrs total
How you found us: A friend at NESBA
           
Nice

Midwest Track Day CR #130
NESBA 130-Control Rider (Former Midwest Region)
STT "A" 130
Track: 2006 GSXR-750
Street: 2011 H-D Ultra Limited (Road Sofa)

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-03-2005, 12:28 PM
SICK OF IT ALL
 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 4,471
Location: Dallas, TX
Sportbike: missing my RC51
Years Riding: 9+
How you found us: drove by Strats one night & stopped in
           

Wayne


Standing together
Side by side
Staying true to what’s inside
United as one, we fight

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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-03-2005, 01:02 PM
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: West Chicago
Posts: 5,923
Location: West Chicago
Sportbike: Daytona 675
Years Riding: fucking up peoples lives since 1986
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I do not know what all the laughing is about, there is some good stuff in there!
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-03-2005, 01:08 PM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Apopka, Florida
Posts: 22,652
Location: Apopka, Florida
Sportbike: Ducati
Years Riding: 3 days
How you found us: unemployment office
           
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hells yeah

-Mopar

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2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-03-2005, 01:40 PM
Moderator
 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 23,640
Location: Naperville, IL
Sportbike: Kawi ZX-10R
Years Riding: Since February 2012
How you found us: NESBA bbs
           
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Amen, brother.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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