A Lesson in Political Science - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 04:09 PM Thread Starter
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Talking A Lesson in Political Science

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' sprivate parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send audio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders

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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 04:28 PM
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WISCONSIN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You shoot one, because polygamy is illegal.
You market your butter as "churned from the inside".
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 04:52 PM
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NEW MEXCO CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You get elected governor.
Now all milk in state must be provided by your two cows.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 05:35 PM Thread Starter
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I musta fallen asleep in class and missed those 2

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 06:01 PM
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There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 07:41 PM
yo quiero su taco
 
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Simpson's - "It's funny because it's true."

I work for an Austrian company. The German version cracked me up. lol

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

Quote:
Originally Posted by admin View Post
Something must be fishy...I am going to go poke around in the back end..
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-21-2005, 02:39 PM
The Victim Newbie
 
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The Iraqi one, with the audio tape of mooing...

<-- Chris

turn the bars left and go right; that just isn't right
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-21-2005, 02:52 PM
Curb your dogma.
 
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The French one.... Got to love the French one

"Cr-Cr-Cr-Crambone!!"
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-21-2005, 06:22 PM
Asphalt tastes bad, kids.
 
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<----Jeff
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