Classic Racer "what if's" - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
The Funny Papers got some funny stuff? Make us laugh.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2005, 08:08 PM Thread Starter
BEER!
 
Grover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lindenhurst, IL
Posts: 5,970
Location: Lindenhurst, IL
Sportbike: '01 SV650S (Pokey!) '02 Honda CR125 (Blockhead)
Years Riding: 5
How you found us: SBN
           
Send a message via AIM to Grover
Classic Racer "what if's"

YOU MIGHT BE A RACER IF

You walk proper lines through the grocery store with the cart.

You've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".

You've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.

Your idea of a decent sort of house to buy is one with a basement and a big garage,a downhill driveway so you can bump-start your racebike, and a working toilet on the property somewhere.

You bought a race bike before buying a house.

You bought a race bike before buying furniture for the new house.

You're looking for a bike transport vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!

You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of "Denny's".

You sit on your race bike in the garage and make bike noises and shift and practice your throttle blipping/braking, while waiting for your motor to get back from the shop.

You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.

At least one of your children was conceived at a race track.

Your garage has more bikes than your house has bedrooms.

You have enough spare parts to build another bike.

You have bike parts in your cubicle at work.

You registered for wedding gifts at Marietta Motorsports.

After your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"

You've ported your 2-stroke lawn mower, chain saw, or weed eater.

Your reading material in your bathroom consists of a 1-888-FASTLAP catalog, and 400 bike magazines, none of which have centerfolds.

Some people only know you by your racing class & bike number.

Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.

You plan your wedding around the race schedule.

You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.

You tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend and they think you mean the toilet.

You gladly pay $9 for a bottle of engine oil.

You hate long distance driving, but gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.

You save broken bike parts as "momentos".

You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas

You've got 3 immaculate race bikes always race ready, but your wife has to nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight in her car.

NESBA/CCS #142
AIM: GroverSV650S
Dirtbikes are not submarines
Grover is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2005, 09:03 PM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
MoparBoyy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Apopka, Florida
Posts: 22,652
Location: Apopka, Florida
Sportbike: Ducati
Years Riding: 3 days
How you found us: unemployment office
           
Send a message via AIM to MoparBoyy
good stuff... i have one for drag racing cars too.. as alot of the same ones

-Mopar

1997 Dodge Viper GTS
2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
MoparBoyy is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2005, 09:26 PM
Evil Moderatrix
 
KBOlsen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Posts: 8,030
Location: Think corn and pigs. Lots and lots of corn and pigs.
Sportbike: A Big Blue One, a threesome of Sexy Red Ones - and a Happy Yellow One!
Years Riding: Quarter century.
How you found us: I was looking for Jimmy Choo's in my shoe closet.
           
Send a message via AIM to KBOlsen
Why is this in the "humor" section? You mean there are people who DON'T think that way?




Kim
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!
KBOlsen is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-27-2005, 09:48 PM
Slow Old Guy.
 
Wink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SS Barrington
Posts: 17,260
Location: SS Barrington
Sportbike: Inline Two Wheeled
Years Riding: Since the beginning of time
How you found us: Dan Ortega sent me
           
Those looked mostly logical and straightforward to me.

Reminds me gotta fix that friggin left front blinker on my wife's car.

And wondering if I could mow any faster with race fuel in the lawnmower...

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
Wink is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-28-2005, 04:39 AM
Registered User
 
msbrit1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Posts: 951
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Sportbike: 97 TL1000s,CBR F2 (track) 99 SV (track), 2k3 CRF Fiddy
Years Riding: not nearly long enough
How you found us: Veddersbetter I think...
           
The race fuel will not make it go faster, just burns cleaner and smells like track whore goodness... Vic is guily of pretty much the entire fucking list. I guess that the pit crew line worked on me though We fell in love to the sound of 125's in the morning.

NESBA #469

"It's better to be on the track for just one lap than to be a spectator for life."
1997 TL1000S
1991 CBR F2 X2
1999 SV650
2k3 CRF 50 (modded to bling extreme)
?? Chinese Knock off 50
I need a bigger garage!!
msbrit1 is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-28-2005, 06:26 AM
Your friendly Crazy Canuk
 
RickC1957's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Barrington, Illinois
Posts: 12,731
Location: Barrington, Illinois
Sportbike: Ducati ST3 2005 Gloss Black, Monster 620, 2007 Sport Classic 1000
Years Riding: Crashing sucessfully since 1969
How you found us: Thru favorednation (ron)
           
Send a message via AIM to RickC1957 Send a message via Yahoo to RickC1957
You forgot

A friend drops by and tells you "Wow this place is looking like a dealership!"

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
RickC1957 is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-28-2005, 07:23 AM
Old bikes RULE! RIDE ONE!
 
Bill Taborn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Clippingtheapex, OH
Posts: 2,853
Location: Clippingtheapex, OH
Sportbike: Aspencade - sold, GSX-R 1000, GSX 600 F - sold, CB 250, DT 100 A, JR 50
Years Riding: since dirt was new and Jesus was a baby
How you found us: Doc, CherryPicker, BFree - The Paddock at Grattan Raceway
           
I knew there were reasons I wasn't all that successful racing. Thanks for helping me pin them down.

"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard..."

The first turn is the worst turn, between the left ear and the right one.
Bill Taborn is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-28-2005, 08:05 AM
SV650N
 
crashomon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Over by Toyota Park
Posts: 3,117
Location: Over by Toyota Park
Sportbike: 2005 SV650SN
Years Riding: Since 1980
How you found us: craigslist
           
Here's a few more:

Your vacations are planned around races, not around "scenic places to travel"

You use TiVo for motorsports almost exclusively

Your Scooter is used for pit areas only, not for street use

"Backing it in" doesn't mean using the reverse gear

Speaking of reverse, your street bikes use race pattern shifting

When you talk about "losing weight" its removal of parts, not reducing your weight.
crashomon is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-28-2005, 10:22 AM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
Blade Runner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Carpentersville
Posts: 9,389
Location: Carpentersville
Sportbike: 2000 929
Years Riding: Longer than most of you have been alive. And I'm still slow.
How you found us: The voices in my head told me to come here
           
I have not seen that one in a while. Good stuff.

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
Blade Runner is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome