Raising Boys.. - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 09:23 AM Thread Starter
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Raising Boys..

Got this forwarded to me..



Raising Boys



a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!



b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.



c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.



d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.



e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.



The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...



Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):



1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.



2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.



3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.



4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.



5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.





6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.



7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.



8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.



9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.



10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.



11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.



12.) Super glue is forever.



13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.



14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.



15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.



16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.



17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.



18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.



19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.



20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.



21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.



22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.



23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.



24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

NESBA/CCS #142
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 09:27 AM
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hahahahhaha, i like #24. i was thinking about trying it. hahahaha!!!!

Chris
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 09:29 AM
It's on the left.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
hahahahhaha, i like #24. i was thinking about trying it. hahahaha!!!!


+1 on #24

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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 09:34 AM
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++1 on 24, thats the first thing i thought when i read it!!!



Jake

2003 Yamaha R6 Raven Limited Edition

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1999 Ford F250 (Gas Sucker)
2001 VW Golf TDI (Gas Saver)
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 09:42 AM
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 09:48 AM
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#24 is so true... first thought was to go find some

Ride smart... stupid hurts.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't...

Godspeed 788!!! We miss you!
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 10:03 AM
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I think #24 is closer to 100% for the people here

Eric
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 10:11 AM
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The ceiling fan ones are totally untrue... either that or I need better ceiling fans. Now on my way to try #24 pictures later

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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 10:16 AM
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i was alreadything thinking if i have clorox at home since i know i have brake fluid.


no joke.

"No dig up stupid."

Chief Quimby
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 11:00 AM
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I was thinking the same thing about #24.
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 11:20 AM
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Keep in mind I grew up in a family with three boys. Consequently, when I had a boy for my first child, I quit having children while I was ahead.

"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard..."

The first turn is the worst turn, between the left ear and the right one.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 11:23 AM
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8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

it doesn't work. I tried it the first time I saw e-mail.

I'm not short. I'm aerodynamically efficient.

Anti Helmet Laws Pro Darwinism
MotoGP 200 mph no roll cage
NESBA # 599
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdrash
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

it doesn't work. I tried it the first time I saw e-mail.
Maybe you need to light it on fire somehow?
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-06-2005, 02:15 AM
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Vic says it doesn't work either...maybe fire should be involved...or maybe brake cleaner???

NESBA #469

"It's better to be on the track for just one lap than to be a spectator for life."
1997 TL1000S
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-06-2005, 05:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
hahahahhaha, i like #24. i was thinking about trying it. hahahaha!!!!
I have to admit, I was going to give it a whirl!

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-07-2005, 11:39 AM
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+1 on 24
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-07-2005, 11:51 AM
Seriously?
 
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#2 is kinda weird.... why dont you guys try that, well if one of you can roller balde.

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
http://public.fotki.com/kemeiz/
Sex is like math... you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!
<---- Kristin
UR MOM RACING
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-07-2005, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook
hahahahhaha, i like #24. i was thinking about trying it. hahahaha!!!!
+1

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-07-2005, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grover
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
Huh. I've got some old brake fluid, and I'm sure the wife has some clorox around somewhere...




Quote:
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid
D'oh!

It just does that
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