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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
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the perfect day

THE PERFECT DAY......

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open
presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe !
12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
length mirror
7:30 Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom
wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over,
naturally).
6:45 Shit, Shower, and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner: crabmeat appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
steak followed by mango ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch
football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies..some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty hot-pepper pizza snacks and a cleansing
beer
11:45 To bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 11:58 AM
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That list is missing a few blowjobs though.

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 11:59 AM
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haha, growler.

Chris
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 12:02 PM
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@ 11:45 To bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep


Awesome day, man.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HDTony
THE PERFECT DAY......

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe !
1:30 minutes for all those Spa Services? It's obvious a man wrote this! I can't get a mani-pedi in that time frame! Gheez!

Busa /Ducati/HDGirl
NESBA #717


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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 12:15 PM
Slow Old Guy.
 
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OK... now I just have to rewrite a few of these and give it to my wife...

cause my birthyday is coming up!

===========
Great Quote - One would think that the Secret Service was smart enough to get serviced secretly.

MotoVid hasbeen
NESBA hasbeen

CCS neverbeen
WERA neverbeen
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 12:15 PM
Ride Red, DO WORK SON!!
 
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Awesome.....

***Ashwin RIP Brotha you will be missed***




www.dcdecals.net www.firespeed.com


Life's Journey Is Not To Arrive At The Grave Safely In A Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Totally Worn Out, Shouting "HOLY SHIT... What A Ride!"

All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never under estimate your opponent (mentality). Expect the unexpected (could work out in your favor). Two, take it outside(or to a table). Never start anything inside the Bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.



Turning Shit into Sugar!!
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 01:56 PM
pfft.
 
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I find that offensive and sexist.






Us chicks like a good satisfying shit every now and again, you know.
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 02:00 PM
Seriously?
 
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Awesome!!! LOL that just made my dad....

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
http://public.fotki.com/kemeiz/
Sex is like math... you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!
<---- Kristin
UR MOM RACING
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 02:13 PM
Old bikes RULE! RIDE ONE!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wink
OK... now I just have to rewrite a few of these and give it to my wife...

cause my birthyday is coming up!

"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard..."

The first turn is the worst turn, between the left ear and the right one.
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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 02:14 PM
Old bikes RULE! RIDE ONE!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag
I find that offensive and sexist.






Us chicks like a good satisfying shit every now and again, you know.
I will not embarrass my wife, I will not embarrass my wife,...

"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard..."

The first turn is the worst turn, between the left ear and the right one.
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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 03:27 PM
CLSB's Florida Chapter.
 
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my day would include many more blow jobs..

O and you forgot to mention that all the woman would not be able to talk

-Mopar

1997 Dodge Viper GTS
2013 Dodge Dart Rallye
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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 03:31 PM
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hahahhahhehehe!
Ok, it's official. Growler it shall be!
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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 03:50 PM
King Nothing


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunny

Awesome!!! LOL that just made my dad....
Made you dad what?

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 03:50 PM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
Made you dad what?
it made her day
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post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 04:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoparBoyy
my day would include many more blow jobs..

O and you forgot to mention that all the woman would not be able to talk
+1
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post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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Yes the whole Growler thing has HDTony laughing as well. that term is now being entered into HDTonys official vocabulary.




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

AirTek Heating & Air inc.
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post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 04:39 PM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HDTony
Yes the whole Growler thing has HDTony laughing as well. that term is now being entered into HDTonys official vocabulary.
clealry it has been forced into mine as well.

damn mods!!
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post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 04:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag
clealry it has been forced into mine as well.

damn mods!!


EMR is all up in the growler.


<---- Patrick

Property of Evil Monkey Racing

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.


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post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 06:47 PM
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Okay, so I have to interject here just to say that my perfect day would NEVER start at 6AM. Aside from that, well, I don't really give a shit about golf or fishing, and I don't really understand why Elle's limited to giving handjobs, but it sounds pretty good regardless.
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post #21 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 07:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maks
Okay, so I have to interject here just to say that my perfect day would NEVER start at 6AM. Aside from that, well, I don't really give a shit about golf or fishing, and I don't really understand why Elle's limited to giving handjobs, but it sounds pretty good regardless.

no shit! daddy dont want no HJ!!!

Chris
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post #22 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 08:16 PM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maks
Okay, so I have to interject here just to say that my perfect day would NEVER start at 6AM. Aside from that, well, I don't really give a shit about golf or fishing, and I don't really understand why Elle's limited to giving handjobs, but it sounds pretty good regardless.
Oh. You are my dream man.
Wake me up at 1pm tomorrow and I'll give ya a BJ.
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post #23 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 08:20 PM
Hot-Wire Her With A Pin
 
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You wake up sit down at the table and you see
Your kid on the wheaties box
your girl friend on the playboy cover
your boss on cops
and your wife on the milk carton
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post #24 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 08:27 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paladin
You wake up sit down at the table and you see
Your kid on the wheaties box
your girl friend on the playboy cover
your boss on cops
and your wife on the milk carton





HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

AirTek Heating & Air inc.
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post #25 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-02-2005, 08:27 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag
Oh. You are my dream man.
Wake me up at 1pm tomorrow and I'll give ya a BJ.
How YOU doin?




HDTony.... Damn glad to meet you!

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

- Ronald Reagan

AirTek Heating & Air inc.
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post #26 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-04-2005, 03:44 PM
Seriously?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger
Made you dad what?
You know what i meant.... thanks Allison!

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
http://public.fotki.com/kemeiz/
Sex is like math... you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!
<---- Kristin
UR MOM RACING
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post #27 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-04-2005, 04:00 PM
Make my day!!!!!
 
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From my count that is 3 BJ's, 1 handjob, and sex with 3 women. If this was a typical day that also means about 7 hrs sleep. I am wondering if the women on this board thinks the men on this board could handle such a day!

Living life! Because before you know it it is over!

Joe

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post #28 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-04-2005, 04:36 PM
Seriously?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wingit
From my count that is 3 BJ's, 1 handjob, and sex with 3 women. If this was a typical day that also means about 7 hrs sleep. I am wondering if the women on this board thinks the men on this board could handle such a day!
Tough to say really....

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
http://public.fotki.com/kemeiz/
Sex is like math... you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!
<---- Kristin
UR MOM RACING
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post #29 of 29 (permalink) Old 12-04-2005, 04:41 PM
Fear is the mind killer
 
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The 3 women would be tough, they get to bickering and fighting, and all hell breaks loose, .

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Handle : ChiefBDR

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegger View Post
"Ride it like you have 30 monthly remaining payments" should keep most people out of trouble.
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