Something to offend everyone - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-23-2006, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
VTwin FTW!
 
ChicagoFactory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Elk Grove Village
Posts: 5,565
Location: Elk Grove Village
Sportbike: 2013 Ducati Diavel Cromo
Years Riding: 20
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Something to offend everyone

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What 's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southernfairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....

Why is there noDisneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Mike

"Life is all about ass ... either you are covering it, kicking it, kissing it, sitting on it or trying to get it."
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-23-2006, 02:03 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Rockford, IL
Posts: 2,872
Location: Rockford, IL
Sportbike: 2006 R6 Raven
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoFactory
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
HEY! I RESEMBLE THAT COMMENT!

_____________________________________________
The CLSB Bitch Wrecking Crew

Book of my Fuh-Zayce

Gotta DANCE!
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-23-2006, 06:42 PM
Seriously?
 
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Barrington
Posts: 7,013
Location: Barrington
Sportbike: 06 Gsx-R 600
Years Riding: 4 years
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Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
So true! hahaha

Bikes can be replaced...people can't...ride safe!!
http://public.fotki.com/kemeiz/
Sex is like math... you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!
<---- Kristin
UR MOM RACING
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-23-2006, 07:07 PM
REDLEG!!!!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St. John, In.
Posts: 1,361
Location: St. John, In.
Sportbike: Ducati Diavel Carbon Red
Years Riding: 28
How you found us: tripped over clsb during a drunken stupor
           
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demz sum good ones
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